Dust to Dust

So it's Ash Wednesday.  I'm not a super-religious person, but for some reason I observe Ash Wednesday and Lent, in the sense that I swing by a church on my way to work to get ashes swiped on my forehead (and then endure the sidelong glances and the "you have a little something there..." gestures and comments all day long -- you'd think people would catch on since this happens every year), and I give something up for Lent. 

(When the dude administers (?) the ashes and says, "Remember we are dust, and to dust we shall return," I cannot help but think of this cheer they used to do in high school:  Ashes to ashes and dust to dust/We hope you bring your britches when you jam with us!  I don't think I have to ask if anyone else has this problem.)

I grew up going to a Presbyterian church, but aside from weekly Sunday school, I only went to services on Christmas and Easter and when I had to acolyte (a duty I usually performed with Allison; after we lit the candles, we'd sit on opposite sides of the altar and pass notes back and forth, to Allison's mother's deep chagrin). 

In high school, our youth group got together with the Episcopal youth group (wild, I tell you -- it was wild), and planned a worship service at each church.  I loved the Episcopal service -- the kneeling and the Book of Common Prayer and the processional with the big cross -- so after I left home, I started going to Episcopal churches on the few occasions a year that I find myself ready, willing and able to spend a couple of hours on a Sunday  praying and whatnot.  Not that I don't enjoy church, because I really do -- whenever I go I'm glad I did; but I usually sort of forget that it's something that could or should go on my to do list for the weekend along with running, cleaning out the cat litter and doing the grocery shopping.  You know? 

Perhaps to make up for all those Sundays that pass on by with nary a "hey, God!" from me, I repent in the form of giving up some food item or bad habit for forty days during Lent.  Oftentimes I give up chocolate and/or diet soda, and by Easter I am a walking mess.  Immediately after services on Easter Sunday, I hightail it to the nearest Duane Reade where, hands shaking with desperation, I purchase a Diet Coke and a Cadbury Creme Egg, which I consume feverishly on the sidewalk before staggering home high on caffeine and sugar, chocolate smudged all over my fingers and face.

That scenario isn't really working for me this year.  I'm having some trouble deciding what to give up, in fact.  Let's see:

Chocolate?  I just made a pan of brownies last night, and it would be a shame for them to go to waste.

Diet soda?  Are you quite mad?  This is one of those things I've determined that I can't live without.  I have tried (see above), but it's not pretty, and I'm not feeling especially strong-willed this year.  I suppose I could give it up if I could be permitted to spend the next forty days languishing in bed, but since I assume I will be expected to function between now and Easter, I've got to have my Diet Coke.

Balance Bars?  This I could maybe see, because I could eat a bowl of cereal in the morning instead of my pair of Cookie Dough Balance Bars, which would probably be the healthier choice anyway.  But then I would have to allot an extra ten minutes to my morning routine before I leave the house, and I'm not sure where those ten minutes are going to come from.  Whereas the Bars are so tidily portable -- no matter how far behind schedule I am, I toss them in my bag and: breakfast! 

Cursing?  Fuck no!  Oh, I kid.  I don't curse all that much.  At least, I don't think I do.  Shit.  Do I?

The Internet?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Next!

Crappy reality TV?  I think the next "cycle" of America's Next Top Model starts soon.  So no.

Running?  Well, I've already effectively given that up -- although I did gasp my way through a four-miler this weekend, so all is not lost.  Since Lent is supposed to be for one's betterment, however, I'm thinking that indulging my sheer laziness is probably not serving the spirit of the holiday as it should.

Felicity?  You hate me, don't you? 

About all I have left to give up is eating lunch from the vending machine.  I do this at least a couple of times a week, and it's pathetic.  It's sad and pathetic.  Combos and Nutter Butters do not a nutritious lunch make.  (Although they are damn tasty, and don't you even try to deny it).  So I think that has to be it -- it will be good for me, but also enough of a sacrifice that I'll feel...I don't know, penitent.  Because I do love those Combos. 

Of course, three weeks from now, when I'm in the throes of PMS, you will find me kneeling before the vending machine, weeping copiously and clutching 85 cents in my hand.  But I will be strong!  I will resist!  If Jesus could...uh, what did he do?  Wander in the desert?  Hang out in the forest?  Or something?  for forty days, then I can live without Nacho Cheez Twisters and Twizzlers.  I think.  Maybe.

So, regardless of your religious convictions, what would you give up if you had to go without something for forty days (or thereabouts) -- something whose absence you'll feel, but it won't kill you or, I don't know, give you a massive withdrawal headache or make you long for its fizzy, fizzy goodness (let's not go crazy here)?   

Comments

[jonniker]

Wine. I would give up wine, and while it would be massively challenging, I would and could do it. I would.

Because there is always beer. And tequila. Or something.

[-R-]

I am giving up all desserts and candy this year. I have already started to rationalize: is sugar-free pudding REALLY a dessert? Yes, it is. I shall be strong.

Today I had a big honkin' piece of cake after lunch to prepare myself for Lent. It was great!

[metalia]

Hmmm...Diet Sunkist; I adore it, and would miss it, but I'd be able to live without it (I THINK), if I knew it was for a finite period of time.

[Meg]

Oooh! I have to choose something. But the only thing that really stands out is coffee, and that would result in my death.

[nonsoccermom]

Probably coffee. Although it would be hard, and I would be cranky. Very, very cranky.

[stinkypaw]

It would have to be chocolate for me...

[Beth]

Actually, you don't have to give up something. You could commit to doing something charitable throughout Lent. :-) (Giving up stuff never worked for me!)

[orangepeacock]

Sex, apparently. Because my SO has declared that he is. And the worst part? I AM AN ATHEIST.

Oh, the humor is escaping me at the moment.

[Jennifer]

The only thing that I could give up that would matter to me would be coffee; anything else would be completely easy. I refuse to give up coffee, so I guess I can't really participate. In the past I have indeed signed up for charify work during the 6 weeks, though.