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  • Curtis Sittenfeld: The Man of My Dreams: A Novel

    Curtis Sittenfeld: The Man of My Dreams: A Novel
    I was worried that I wouldn't like this nearly as much as Prep, but I really did enjoy it. Possibly even loved it. Maybe not with the same fervor, but in a different, also-good way. Sittenfeld is so good at writing about insecurities and alienation and awkwardness. When I read her work, I wish I'd written it.

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You Can Go Home Again

I'm back!  It was a great weekend in ye olde hometowne, though too short as always.  And!  We've raised enough for three playgrounds.  Just two more to go, y'all.  Two more!  $2,500 more will get us to our goal.  I am beyond thrilled at how well we've done in such a short time -- with the help of you awesome, awesome people.   

Thanks for the linky love and the donations -- I am touched and humbled by your generosity.  Handwritten thank you notes are on the way (my mama raised me right!). 

Also on the way will be a full weekend recap, avec les photos (courtesy of my mom, since I whiffed on bringing my camera, and then carried one of hers around to the walk and the exhibit, but failed to take more than a couple of hasty, blurry shots).  You can also look forward to the usual post-hometown visit existential dilemma:  who am I?  What should I be doing, and where do I want to be doing it?  And how does my Southern accent come back within thirty seconds of my arrival at the Atlanta airport?  (Seriously.  I have a DRAWL all of a sudden.)

Incidentally, this week will be the six month mark of our wait for a referral.  The time has flown by, really flown., in an almost eerie way.  This fundraising project definitely helped (and will continue to help, as we work to close the gap to reach our goal), and now I feel more connected than ever to Vietnam and to our child and to the hundreds of children who will be left behind, but whose lives are about to get just a little bit better. 

Now I'm off to bed, to dream of see-saws and children's smiles and the little baby girl in Vietnam who remains unrevealed to us, but whose face we hope to see within the next two months.  We're getting so close.  I can't wait. 

Like an Old Sweet Song

We're off to mah home state of Georgia tomorrow (Thursday) evening, which is terribly exciting.  Driving!  Parents!  Allison!  Maggie!  Hometown peeps!  A much-needed haircut! 

Mostly we just need to focus on getting there at this point, as we have 25,000 things (ok, fine, like two) conspiring to make it as difficult as possible, which could result in us getting there late late late and me having to navigate the highways of rural Georgia at or around midnight.  Come to think of it, the last time we went down there, we ran into all manner of travel hassles, and I ended up tearing down I-85 at like two in the morning trying not to die of fatigue or of a semi mowing over us at 150 mph.  They drive FAST down there, y'all.   

Saturday morning is the big fundraising walk for Child's Play (or, well, we hope it will be big; right now it is a bit on the side of small/medium-ish, but growing!) and then Saturday evening is our exhibit/schmoozing event at my mom's cooperative art gallery. 

The latter will include wine, which will make me much more able to flit around the room, asking strangers for money.  Which, clearly, I have no trouble doing on my blog, even stone cold sober, although really, y'all are friends, so that doesn't count.  And oh, hell, I'm sure I'll know most of the people at this thing, too.  But I will still take sips of wine and cling to my glass like a life preserver, in large part because it will give me something to do with my hands and thereby prevent me from gesturing wildly, as I am wont to do.  In this case, occupying my hands will save many valuable pieces of sculpture, what with it being an art gallery and all.   

So.  Our playground campaign is going super well, thanks in part to you lovely and generous Internet people.  It is awesome and humbling to have y'all supporting this effort. Thank you sooooo much for your donations (and if you haven't yet received your handwritten thank you note, all proper-like, you will!). 

Lookie, lookie! 

We've almost got two playgrounds down!  Then we'll have just three more to go! 

(Of course, if you'd still like to give, go to Dillon's home page and scroll down to the middle of the page.  Click the orange GiveDirect button and fill out the form.  Put "Child's Play" in the Comments section.)

Have a great weekend, everyone! 

Of Football, Dentists and Ponytails

Who knew there were so many "Friday Night Lights" fans out there among y'all?  Fascinating.  I have actually seen the TV series a couple of times, but somehow we didn't get around to TiVoing it, or maybe it conflicted with (gulp) "The Bachelor" (which I am NOT watching this season -- no, really; the Bachelors who refuse to shave are not worthy of my time) or some such thing, but in any event the first season passed us right by.  But what I did see of it was good, so I will have to see about those free episodes and Netflix and we will catch ourselves up! 

So yesterday I went to the dentist for the first time in far too long -- ok, fine, two and a half years (eeek!) -- and the whole experience was extremely weird. It was the first time I'd gone to this guy, who I picked out of the DMO listings based solely on his location, a process which has worked well with all my other doctors. 

I got to the office and it was a bit shabby, although the obligatory copy of Highlights was on the coffee table in the waiting room, which was somehow comforting.  Before long, a dude in a white coat called my name, and I went through a flimsy wooden door to a COMMUNAL exam room.  I mean, there were ROWS of dentist's chairs in there.  Which I realize isn't like a communal exam room at, say, the gyno, but STILL.  I don't need to see someone else getting drilled (oh, stop that!  their TEETH) two feet away from me.  Fortunately, my chair -- which looked like it had been ordered from Bulgaria, circa 1962 -- was surrounded by empty ones, although I could hear the whirr of a drill coming from around the corner.   

So anyway, the white-coated dude turned out to be a technician, although he looked like he was still in high school, and he took some x-rays.  Then the dentist came in.  He was barely old enough to vote.  I mean, I'm all for a handsome, young-ish dentist, but he should be older than I am, preferably by a significant margin.  I craned my head around to see if there was at least a diploma posted on the wall to prove he'd actually completed dental school, but no.  For all I knew, this kid had wandered in off the street and decided to take up dentistry that morning. 

He looked around in my mouth a little and said everything looked fine, then he cleaned my teeth. That was it.  I was done.  Um.  Okay? 

I don't mean to be fussy, but isn't a hygienist supposed to do the cleaning?  The dentist -- what with his medical degree and all -- is supposed to come in at the end and deal with serious, dentist stuff.  He's not supposed to be in there with the gritty toothpaste and the whirly polisher thing!  And he didn't even do a good job of it; he used this water sprayer/picker thing and it was like having a hose directed into my mouth for ten minutes.  I could feel rivulets of liquid flying out, collecting into pools on my cheeks and cascading down my neck and into the collar of my shirt.  Pretty awesome.  I will not be going back.  Although, on the bright side:  no cavities!

On the way back to the office, I saw this smartly dressed professional woman in a crisp suit and fancy shoes.  She had her hair in one of those posh ponytails that I cannot replicate in the best of circumstances -- I put my hair up in a ponytail and it looks like I'm headed to the gym; this woman's hair was smooth and lush and bouncy, and the ponytail made her look even more pulled together. 

Except. 

Just above the ponytail holder, precisely horizontal to the ground, and clearly visible to all, was a bright blue Papermate pen.  I don't know if she meant it as an accessory or just got distracted after scratching her head with it for a while, but I hope she took it out before whatever interview/court appearance/meeting she was going to.  Should I have told her?  She was on her cell phone, so I didn't want to bother her, but now I feel kind of badly, like maybe I should have given her the universal signal for "Hey, you've got a Papermate pen in your hair!"  Oh, well.  Maybe I was just bitter at how perfect her ponytail was.   

Pass the Pumpkin

Thank you all for your many rug suggestions!  You rule.  I will be sure to let you know what we do, and next time we go shopping I'll be sure to bring my camera, since I want you to be able to see the pig rug with your own eyes. 

And as long as we're on this home decor odyssey together,  I should mention that we have a decorator-type person coming in a few weeks to advise us on how to better arrange our furniture.  It's one of these services where they use the stuff you already own to optimize your space or...whatever.  Since we have to reconfigure the guest room/office into a guest room/nursery (mainly by moving our substantially proportioned desk into an already crowded master bedroom and otherwise making room for a crib and the like without completely destroying our guest-hosting capabilities) and figure out where to hang the rest of our pictures and artwork, which have been propped up against the wall in said guest room/office for, oh, a year and a half, I figured professional advice was warranted. 

We seem to lack spacial reasoning in this household; we once bought a dining room table that was meant to fit neatly in the far part of the living room, over by the windows, and when it was delivered, we found that it spanned the width of the room; you couldn't even walk around it without pinning yourself to a wall.  Its design was so hulking that it dwarfed everything in the vicinity.  It looked like our living room had been furnished by gnomes, and then two giants came along and plopped their dining room table in it.  So before we go around moving massive armoires and desks on our own, all willy-nilly, we think a more trained eye should take a gander.

I can't believe it's almost October already, but I am thrilled to see that this means that the Pumpkin Spice Frappuccino and Latte have returned to Starbucks.  I only consume Starbucks when I'm out shopping, which isn't super-often; on a day-to-day basis I can't deal with standing in line for that long, or paying that much money for a caffeine hit.  The $1.45 Diet Mountain Dew from the newsstand will do just fine, thanks. 

But strolling around the neighborhood on a weekend frequently puts me in a Frappuccino frame of mind, in the way that sitting in an airport for even a brief period of time compels me to consume one of those Auntie Anne's (or Aunt Annie's?  Auntie Annie's?) Pretzels.  The second I smell that synthetic butter, I have to have one of those salty, bready, greasy things, even though they leave me feeling like an oil slick.  Frequently, I follow up the pretzel with a blueberry muffin as big as my head, another luxury reserved for airport time.  If my flight is delayed, I end up consuming a week's worth of carbohydrates in ten minutes, while smearing the pages of an InStyle or Rachael Ray magazine from Hudson News with my buttery, crumby fingers.  It's a very alluring sight, let me assure you.

Separately, I am a sucker for football movies.  I'm not much of a sports person, but I am uncontrollably drawn to inspirational football stories, no matter how formulaic the script or implausible the dialogue.  If it's got a big pre-game oration by the coach, I'm all over it, and more often than not I snorfle through the whole climactic scene, unable to rein in my big sucker tears.  I mean, "Rudy"?  Who among you can make it through the jersey scene -- where the team members come into the coach's office one by one and lay down their uniforms for Rudy -- without succumbing to loud, wet sobs?  COME ON.  And "Friday Night Lights" with Billy Bob Thornton giving the big speech about being perfect?  My God, man.  Plus the scene where Boobie (no, really) cries, "I ain't nothin' without playin' no football" or whatever, and you just want to go and give him a hug. 

This weekend we watched "We Are Marshall", and even though it had an unnecessary voiceover and Matthew Fox channeled his Charlie Salinger days (specifically the ones when he had cancer and every five seconds he was weeping profusely or chewing at the air about how he was so PUT UPON and goddamn it HE WAS SICK) and Matthew McConaghey did this weird affectation with his mouth that I found distracting -- it's one thing to give the character a physical life, but it's another when the audience is thinking, "he's giving the character a physical life; he's thinking about how this character talks out of the side of his mouth" -- I still ended up crying my eyes out at the pre-game oration by the coach and the rest of the usual football movie stuff. 

So.  Rugs, Pumpkin Spice frappuccinos and sports movies.  That is the excitement that is my life.  But!  We also moved up the waiting list a little at the end of last week, so that is pretty freaking awesome, and next weekend is our Child's Play walk and exhibit in mah hometown.  Which means we'll be seeing my parents as well as Allison and her crew (hee) on top of doing a good deed for the orphans of Vietnam. Life is good.      

Animal Farm

I forgot to mention another highlight of our weekend: shopping for a new area rug for our living room. (How do we keep up this breakneck pace?)  We currently have two rugs in the living room, one 8x10 in a sort of light sage green, and one 5x8 in a cream with this modern branch/flower design thing on it, so it's sort of like there are two spaces in the room, one with the couch and TV and whatnot, and one that's basically empty but will eventually be a play area. 

In case you're wondering, cream carpet is not the way to go when you have two animals that projectile vomit on the floor with some regularity.  Add to that a high level of dirty-shoe traffic -- we smartly put the dog's crate at the far end of the room, under the windows, so we and our dog walker have to traipse across the cream rug multiple times a day -- and you've got some serious stainage going on.  I've tried Resolve and that new Woolite Pod thingy ("just squeeze, rub, groom and done!"), but Resolve did nothing at all, and the Pod merely bleached the stains, so now we have a cream rug mottled with white blotches.  Very attractive.

ANYWAY.  So we went rug shopping at ABC Carpet this weekend to find a single rug that would span the whole living room.  A sales woman offered to help us as soon as we walked in the door, and when we told her what we were looking for (size, color, style), she told us she only had a few options on the floor in that size, but we could certainly order something custom if we saw a sample we liked.  We followed her to a collection of rolled-up rugs, where she pointed out a few that she thought would work, and offered to unfurl them for us.

While she was talking about weave and pile, we caught a glimpse of the price tag.  The rug was on sale!  However, there seemed to be an extra digit on the price.  It was...TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS.  (On sale!)  (From twenty-five, in case you're wondering -- quite a bargain, eh?) 

I tried to play it cool, all, "it's not really what we're looking for", but the sales lady saw our faces and halted for a moment, and my husband chuckled as he said, "I gotta tell you.  I wasn't planning on spending, ah, that much."  She asked how much we had in mind, and when we told her, she directed us to the basement of the store, where they offered remnants and deeply discounted sale items.  I considered asking whether a car came with the twenty thousand dollar rug -- because, hey! that would be kind of a bargain! -- but kept quiet and scuttled down the stairs to El Cheapo Land.

The basement was not anywhere you'd want to buy anything.  We gazed around at the jumble of carpeting, rolled dustily against the walls and stacked haphazardly around, but didn't see anything we'd want in our home.  As we wandered through the dejected selection, which my husband deemed the Loser Area, we noticed a woman who had possibly been locked in the store since 1986 and therefore unable to change her outfit -- she had on a hunter green mock turtleneck and a pair of jeans so onerous it pains me to describe them.  They were black acid wash, and they were ribbed, such that they looked like extra-wide wale corduroys.  They had a yoke and no back pockets, and they tapered at the ankle and were at least four inches too short, and OH GOD, they were so tight I don't know how she could walk or remain upright or not lose everything from the waist down to gangrene. 

We headed back to the stairs, clamoring to get out of there before we got stuck for the rest of time like Mrs. Mom Jeans, and as we started to climb, I took one last look back at the Loser Area.  There, next to the stairs, was a three foot-high stack of rugs.  The top few were peeled back, revealing a bright yellow carpet with...a pig on it.  A cartoonish, pink pig grinned out from the wooly surface.  That's all we could afford in that store.  A pig rug. 

Toy Story

Fall is beginning to peek over summer's shoulder, and as a result I have been rendered utterly incapable of dressing myself.  What do you wear for a day that starts out in the chilly fifties and ends up hovering in the low-to-mid seventies?  My whole life, I've experienced transitional weather at least twice a year, and still I haven't mastered the proper layering techniques. 

When we set out for a stroll around the East Village today, it was windy and nippy (wippy!), and I was afraid that a light cotton sweater wouldn't cut it, so I went for a cashmere one (don't think I'm being all hifalutin' here; I have exactly one cashmere sweater, and it's a Christmas gift from two years ago) (also, it sounds overly wintry, but it's a very light, uh, weave (?) and has a deep v-neck for plenty of sternum ventilation), plus jeans, and, for the first time since June, clogs instead of flip-flops.  As an abundance of caution, because OH, how I hate to be cold, I threw on a velvet blazer.   

By the time we got to our first destination (we were doing a self-guided tour of all the funky little toy shops in the area, because ONE DAY we will actually have a real, live baby here and she will want something with which to amuse herself, and our collection of vintage ashtrays and first edition Hemingway novels probably won't hold her attention very long), I was sweating as if I'd just come out of the Turkish baths.  Of course, then I had to carry the velvet jacket, which was like dragging around a radiator, and I was stuck in my sweater, jeans and clogs, all of which I wanted to rip off and run screaming into the nearest Gap to procure some shorts and a t-shirt. 

Naturally, every store we visited appeared to have the heat cranked to 110 degrees, so as I stood in line to pay, I had to fan myself with my debit card and try not to keel over and die.  This is one of the worst things about shopping in New York, especially in the winter.  Since you walk most places, you have to bundle up against the elements, and once you get to where you're going, they invariably have overheated the place to the point that desert nomads come wandering through, and before delirium sets in you have to strip off your coat, scarf, hat, gloves, and any middle layers, and then CARRY THEM AROUND WITH YOU while you browse.  If you have to go clothes-shopping in the winter, you might as well just kill yourself, because it will be a better fate than going through all of that and then having to TRY STUFF ON in the blast furnace-like dressing rooms.    

As a side note, I have concluded that I cannot wear jeans.  There is no pair of jeans ON THE PLANET that fits me right.  I have plenty of great pairs of pants in my closet, all of which manage to be both flattering and comfortable; but among my jeans, not a single pair attains that goal.  Not even close.  The low-rise jeans, including a couple of pairs of Fancy, Stupidly Expensive Premium Denim Jeans (WHY MUST JEANS BE SO EXPENSIVE?), veer between plumber-butt/poopy diaper sagginess and legging-grade tightness, neither of which I consider to be an attractive look.  If pressed, I prefer the former, because my hatred of tight clothing drives me to the brink of homicide (does anyone else have this problem?  if anything is even a little snug, it makes me feel fat fat fat; I like my clothes to sort of skim my figure, not CLING to it or SQUEEZE it).  My other jeans (regular old Gap), however, sit annoyingly high on my hips and bulge out at the sides (apparently I am meant to have curves somewhere below my waist?  No one told my DNA), yet still bag in the buttal area.

I've been to those Websites that promise to find you the Perfect Jeans, but I found them unhelpful, mostly because I don't want to shell out $200 for Joe's Jeans (they always recommend Joe's Jeans) on the promise that they will be ideal for my bod, only to find after two wearings that they stretched out more than expected and there's that full diaper look again.  I'm not sure what to do about all this.  Maybe I need to switch to chinos.  Or stop leaving the house altogether on weekends.

Anyway, we managed to have a high old time poking around these cute little shops in spite of the weather-inappropriate attire, and then we stopped for lunner (late lunch/early dinner) at this Ukranian diner, where my husband got a plate of the wrong kind of pierogis (he'd ordered an assortment of cheese and meat ones; they brought him all one kind, which was not any of the kinds he'd asked for and appeared to be the tuna fish kind, which did not appear on the menu) and I learned that I do not like kasha.  I thought I'd be all "when in Rome" and get kasha with my omelete instead of home fries, but this was ill-advised.  It tasted like dirt, except with less flavor. 

So.  That was fun!  You can see why we usually don't venture further than Central Park on the weekends.  No, really, we actually had a great time.  And we did pick up some super-cute toys.      

The Funds They Are A-Raisin'

(I swear I won't hit you all up for money every week, but given the enthusiastic response, I wanted to keep you posted on how Child's Play is doing -- going forward, I'll just throw up a ticker and let you see for yourselves.)

When we moved from Illinois to Georgia, I left behind a Montessori school with lush grounds populated by jungle gyms, tire swings, monkey bars, slides, and -- the crowning touch -- a pony.  It couldn't have been any better if there had been rainbows arcing everywhere and unicorns trotting through the dewy grass.  In Georgia, on the other hand, my primary school had a vast, open field dotted with expanses of exposed dirt, a creaky swingset, a jungle gym that was a tort claim waiting to happen, and some large tractor tires sunk into the ground. 

It was a sorry excuse for a playground, but somehow we made it work.  I could straddle one of the tires and make believe it was a pony -- or even a unicorn -- and when I was fast enough, I could beat everyone to the one soft canvas swing, which was prized by all above the rubbery ones that seared the backs of your legs after baking in the sun all morning.   

Things didn't improve, by the way, as I moved from first grade on up.  Our elementary school had this woodsy play area, but the most attractive piece of equipment -- a set of "Superman bars" that were extra-high and extra-precarious -- was cordoned off because a kid had broken his arm when he fell off them the year before.  And after that, my fifth and sixth grade school (yes, we changed schools every two years; it was somewhat tiresome) had no playground at all, just a Gobi-sized "field" of red dirt.  No grass, no equipment; just dust.  And a tetherball pole that listed wanly toward the main building. 

I don't want the orphans of Vietnam to have just any old sorry playgrounds.  I want them to have something WAY BETTER than what I had (my hometown, incidentally, has amped up its play spaces exponentially since I was a kid).  And we're already on our way to giving them something great!  We've got $1,510 so far, which means that we are one playground down, four to go.   

(Also, we have a logo!  And I figured out how to put it here!)Logo

If you'd like to give, go to Dillon's home page and scroll down to the middle of the page.  Click the orange GiveDirect button and fill out the form.  Be sure to put "Child's Play" in the Comments section.

(By the way, if we manage to go OVER the $7500 goal, the excess will be used either to make the playgrounds even more spectacular, or to other humanitarian efforts, like scholarships for some of the orphans to attend school.)

Bad Ballet

As far as I'm concerned, there is little in life that's as humorous as people falling down.  Maybe the funniest thing I've ever seen was in my last ballet recital at the end of senior year of high school, when one of the dancers in my company bit the dust in a most dramatic fashion. 

It was in a large group piece and, as always, thanks to my height, I was in the back line.  We were wearing floaty sort of Grecian-style dresses, half of us in deep blue, half in hot pink.  In the middle of the dance, there was a terrific swooshing sound and a WHUMP! that reverberated through the theater like the concussion of a bomb. 

The dancer in question -- we'll call her Buttertoes -- had gone to do a fouette into arabesque (got that?) when her foot had slid right out from under her, and she landed smack on her face.  Well, really she landed smack on her forearms; her face was spared, but just barely.  She was, of course, situated basically front and center on stage, and she was in one of the more conspicuous fluorescent pink costumes.  It did not, shall we say, go unnoticed.  All the air sucked out of the auditorium for a moment.  The dancers who had seen her go down could hardly keep it together on stage; shoulders convulsed and faces leered with suppressed giggles through the rest of the (classical, somber) piece. 

As it happened, Buttertoes was a teacher at our high school, as was her husband, who taught my Advanced Chemistry class.  A good friend of mine whose sister was in the company had videotaped the whole thing, and the Monday after the performance, she brought the video to school.  That day, we got to forego the wonders of molarity and molality in favor of watching Buttertoes crash to the ground again and again and again as her ever-so-sensitive husband wailed with laughter at his wife's ill-fated performance. 

My friend then took it upon herself to edit the tape into a montage to "Help!" by the Beatles, putting the crash into slo-mo and reverse-mo and every other mo available.  To see the violence of it slowed to frame-by-frame action demonstrated the sheer durability of the human body.  Buttertoes was a slight woman, but she hit the ground with such force that her head whipped forward and back at least twice before she came to rest, stunned and flat on the stage.  She rose again rear-first, getting up on all fours before -- rather literally -- dusting herself off and resuming a standing position, where she paused for a moment in disbelief of what had just befallen (BWAH!) her, before joining the choreography again.  She was visibly shaken, but the show had to go on.

If only I had the priceless footage here with me to share with all of you, my faithful readers; but unfortunately, the "Help!" tape has long since been lost.  I suspect Buttertoes may have had something to do with it; she probably had a team of cat burglars skulk into our homes and destroy every copy of the damning evidence long ago.

However, there is some consolation to be found on YouTube, where the hilarity of people falling down -- and, more specifically, ballet dancers falling down, which is somehow ever better -- does not go unappreciated.  Because I am five and I still find this side-splittingly hysterical, I want to share this with you.  If you can, watch with the sound on; the effects add a great deal. 

My Vietnam

When people ask why we chose to adopt from Vietnam, as opposed to domestically or from, say, Russia or China, I often want to ask them in turn if they have an hour or two to sit for a cup of tea while I wax rhapsodic about this country on the other side of the world that I love so dearly, for reasons that are hard to articulate.  Usually, I nutshell it with something about feeling a "connection" to Vietnam, having traveled there before.  Of course, it's much more than that, although try as I might to encapsulate the whole thing, I'm still not sure it makes any sense, in the way that instinctual, gut-driven things often don't.  Try explaining to someone why you love your favorite food, for example, or how you knew your spouse was The One, and you'll know what I mean.  You just DO. 

Which isn't to say it's not a valid question to ask, and I don't mind it at all.  Trust me, I will talk anyone's ear off who's willing to listen to me go on (and oh, I do GO ON) about adoption and Vietnam.  Nevertheless, I'm unable to come up with something that doesn't sound glib (we wanted an excuse to travel to Vietnam again) or superficial (the kids are so beautiful there!) or overly pragmatic (6-9 months' wait for a girl, versus years for China). 

The first time I went to Vietnam was in August 2000, after I took the bar exam.  I was traveling with a group of friends from law school; we started out in Hong Kong, then spent about a month in Vietnam, and finished it off with a couple of weeks in Thailand.  We did everything on the cheap, sleeping in $20-a-night rooms (which weren't as bad as you might think; maybe the beds were lumpy and the decor minimal, but we always had air conditioning and our own bathroom) and taking buses between in-country destinations, sometimes for 15 hours at a stretch.  Most of the time, the roughing it aspect was a part of the adventure and therefore took on a patina of glamour in its own sense; but on a few occasions, such as riding for ten hours on a NON-air conditioned bus (a/c had been promised, but turned out to be on the fritz) in approximately one thousand degree heat with about 800 smelly backpackers and 1200 pieces of luggage, I yearned for something a bit more upscale.   

The second time, in September 2002, I went for two weeks with my husband.  Being gainfully employed, we did things on more of a luxury level this time, and we flew around or hired private drivers for our day trips and between cities.  We did, however, skip the French-style, cloth-napkin restaurants in favor of hunching over pho on the side of the street and rode a couple of ancient bikes (mine sans brakes, requiring Fred Flinstone-style maneuvers to stop) amid the clamor of traffic and sometimes through torrential downpours. 

Both times, for whatever reason, I felt as at home in Vietnam as I would in any previously unvisited American city.  Almost as soon as our plane touched down and I peered out the tiny window at shimmering green rice paddies and distant, towering limestone formations, the country seeped into me.  By the time we took our first heart-stopping walk across a street teeming with hordes of traffic, I was hooked. 

I loved the clanging of the street vendors at dawn; the brisk slapping steps of the women carrying twice their body weight on shoulder yokes as they bustled to the market; the constant cacophany of horns as motorbikes and cars and bicycles and cyclos jockeyed for position on the steaming asphalt; the late afternoon blare of karaoke from the bars down the street.  I loved the oversaturated colors, the brilliant yellow of the French-style opera house, the blood red of the flag, the piercing green of the endlessly lush countryside, the stark white of the schoolgirls' ao dais, fluttering as they walked like legions of angels through the city.   

I loved every bite of food I ate -- pho, the ubiquitous beef noodle soup sold every two feet in every part of the country; banh mi omelets, crusty French baguettes stuffed with fresh eggs and bits of cucumber and hot sauce; bun cha in Hanoi, grilled pork over noodles, made on a smoky charcoal grill on the side of the street; coa lau in Hoi An, a pork and noodle dish with crunchy rice crackers laid across the top; bun thit nuong in Saigon, another pork and noodle staple; che, a dessert of shaved ice, fruit and coconut milk; and banh beo, squishy white-bread buns filled with ground pork, vegetables and a hard-boiled egg.  All of these were best washed down with either Fanta, bottled in 1970s-style glass, or beer, preferably Bia 333 (Ba Ba Ba) or, in Hue, Huda. 

To a one, every person I encountered was friendly, thoughtful, and terribly flattering (such pretty skin, they would say, or how handsome your husband is!).  One young girl in Hoi An who brought us to her mom's tailor stall in the market whispered to me that my husband was "very sexy, very opulent -- he is like cowboy"; I think he still considers this the greatest compliment he's ever gotten.  Sure, the requests for money or to buy things we didn't want or need ("Where you from?  You will buy?") got a little old, but most of the kids who were peddling stuff -- usually bootleg copies of books, postcards, chalk paintings or jewelry -- were charming and curious, and we were drawn to their open faces and entrepreneurial spirit. 

Most of all, we loved sitting on the curb having an iced Vietnamese coffee (delicious with a swirl of sweetened condensed milk) and watching the world go by.  Vietnam is a place of constant action, constant kinetic energy, yet there's a strange calm that pervades everything.  People rush around and work from dawn to dusk and beyond, but there is a sense of stillness there that's difficult to capture.  In the midafternoon, in the feverish heat, you see vendors slumped against their carts, dead asleep, and women crouching next to buildings chattering over tea, and on Sunday nights the streets fill with families zooming around on motorbikes and gathering in town squares -- somehow, it is clear that what matters most is not money or ambition or fame but family and food and friends, conversation and babies and community. 

I think one thing I love about Vietnam is that it's an underdog; over its millenia of history, it has been invaded countless times, occupied as a colony, and, of course, decimated by war.  Yet it goes on.  The people are not hardened or bitter; they are welcoming and reflective.  They are proud of their country, as they should be.  They are philosophical about the past but hopeful for the future.  They persist. 

Through our daughter, and hopefully future children, we will have a connection to this haunting and beautiful and dreamlike place for the rest of our lives, a connection that goes beyond this ineffable sense that it's somewhere we belong in some way, somewhere that speaks to our very souls.  I hope that, as she grows up a product of two lands, one of her birth and one of her home, she will find that same sense of belonging in both places. 

Teens on Bikes - Hue Pedaling to School - Hoi An Hustle - Hanoi Tea - Hoi An House - Hoi An

Nuggets

Boy howdy, I've been in a horrible mood today.  I'm all achy and cranky.  Crachy, really.  I think I need something to distract me from the unmoving wait for a referral, and the sense I have that my life is on hold until we know who our baby is.  You would think that fundraising, writing (a little), and doing my Rosetta Stone Vietnamese lessons (also a little -- I need to work harder on that...but my brain hurts after work on weeknights, wah, which leaves the weekend, and there's only so much language I can cram into 48 hours) would be enough, but apparently not. 

I don't have it in me to train for the marathon this year, but I need something that will engage me in the same sort of physical and mental way but that I can fit into my schedule relatively easily.  Maybe I should take up tae kwon do?  I've thought about going back to dance class on the weekends, but I fear the humiliation of having let my turnout and extension and general dance ability atrophy to the point of nonexistance.  Any suggestions?

Separately, I was paging through my little idea notebook tonight on the way home -- I have to have a notebook and pen on me at all times, just in case the secrets of the universe are revealed to me while I'm on the subway or buying a bagel -- and I had to chuckle at some of the items I've jotted down to remind myself of stories that need to be told. 

For example, the first item on the list is "bordello apt."  As in, bordello apartment.  After law school, I moved with my ex into an apartment in the Gramercy area.  At some point, we got a package in the mail that was addressed to our apartment, but with no recipient specified.  We opened it up and found some, ah, indelicate photographs of a woman posing in ways that highlighted her, ah, rear view. 

Some time later, I moved into another apartment in the same building.  I had some people over one night, and one of the guests mentioned that she used to work in the building.  I thought this was odd, since it was a residential building. She said that she worked on the second floor as the receptionist for...a bordello.  She had answered an ad for a receptionist position at an importer/exporter business or some such thing -- and when she showed up to work, they told her she was to answer the phone, schedule appointments, and let people into the apartment for "meetings."  She quickly realized, however, that they weren't importing or exporting anything, and she beat a trail out of there.  And yep, that was in MY OLD APARTMENT.  Apparently the nudie pictures were of an applicant for a new, er, opening.

Here's another item:  "Miss W. -- shoplifting."  That refers to my junior year English teacher.  After I graduated high school, she was caught shoplifting at the local JC Penney. 

Another:  "Old men alone (IA, Mr. L) + dog comm."  I have NO idea what IA refers to (Iowa?  But why?  I CAN'T REMEMBER) or what "dog comm" means (dog communication?  WHAT?), but the old men alone thing is pretty self-explanatory.  Seeing old men alone -- especially eating alone -- makes me SO sad.  It gets me every time. 

One of the saddest things in the WORLD was this time in high school when my friend G's dad came to have lunch with her at school.  Her dad, Mr. L, was an older gentleman; he walked with a cane and didn't see all that well.  But he adored her to the ends of the earth, and he was one of the nicest people you'd ever meet.  That day, G got her lunch and went and sat down, but her dad somehow didn't see where she went, and when he came out of the lunch line, he stood in the middle of the cafeteria, holding his tray with one hand and leaning on his cane with the other, and he peered around, looking forlornly for his daughter, while packs of rowdy teenagers swarmed around him.  Something about it was so vulnerable and so tragic that it makes me tear up just thinking about it.  OH MY GOD, it was sad.

One last one for now:  "ketchup problem."  Ah, another lunchroom story.  This was in 8th grade, when I went to an all-girls' junior high (yes, public -- it was a product of desegregation and a relic of racism and it, thankfully, no longer exists).  We were sitting at lunch one day and this rather dim girl from my homeroom decided that it would be hilarious to take ketchup packets and stomp on them under the table.  She, of course, ended up spraying ketchup all over the wall and floor, and after lunch she and I and one of my friends were summoned to the principal's office. 

The principal, a rather ineffectual woman whose disciplinary methods often consisted of making menacing announcements over the intercom system, sat back in her imposing armchair and looked down at us as if she were deliberating something weighty.  We stared at the floor and traced circles with our shoes as the silence thickened.  Finally, the principal said, "Girls.  We have a ketchup problem....we have a ketchup problem."  I had to pinch the side of my leg with all my strength not to burst into crazed laughter.  I think, in the end, we had to clean off the wall (the principal thought that my friend and I had "encouraged" the packet-stomping, even thought we HAD NOT) and maybe she made us apologize to the lunch ladies or some stupid thing.  Man, am I glad I'm not in school anymore.