Crazy/Beautiful

I think it was back in college that I noticed for the first time that when spring arrives, the crazies come out in full force.  Also the pervs, the ones who feel it necessary to comment on your appearance (like calling your rear view "luscious") as you saunter past or, worst of all, the ones who tell you to smile when you're just minding your own damn business.  (OH, how I hate being told to smile.  I GOT YOUR SMILE RIGHT HERE, JERKO.)  It's understandable, I suppose; when you get to feel the sun on your face and all the ladies in town are suddenly wearing less clothing, you start feeling your oats.  You want to share your delight with the world or...release your energy in some way.  We've all had that skippy feeling when the green returns and the the flowers are blooming.  But we each have our unique way of expressing it.

On Saturday, we took the subway uptown after the play.  It turned out to be a mistake because it took about eight years for a train to come, and when it arrived it was so packed I thought we would have to scale someone's body and surf over people's heads to get in, AND the train was skipping stops (including ours, natch).  And yet, we smushed in and endured. 

At the door of our car was a disheveled man with his shopping cart, which was filled with boulder-sized trash bags.  He had designated himself as some kind of subway official, it seemed, and he used his newfound post to welcome all the passengers aboard and encourage everyone on the platform to go ahead and shove their way onto the train.  When the doors groaned shut, virtually vaccuum-packing us into the humid car, the man began holding forth about some subject or another -- at the top of his lungs, of course, and without the benefit of coherence or forethought. 

As you do in these situations, everyone stared off into the middle distance or carried on quiet conversation with their companions or silently wished for it all to be over as quickly as possible.  Everyone except an older man, that is, who was pressed against the doors with his wife and teenage son, right next to the self-appointed mayor of the uptown local. 

"SHUT THE %^&* UP, YOU SONOFA#$%^*!" the man shouted at the shopping cart guy. 

Silence was kept.

And then.

The car erupted in chaos, as the shopping cart guy started screaming, "I'LL MURDER YOU, I WILL, I WILL $^&%ing MURDER YOU, who the ^%#$ do you think you are" (and so on).  And then the other guy yelled back, and by then they were officially engaged in a screaming match.  The family guy's wife was trying to calm him down ("STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT") while he lunged at the shopping cart man, and everyone was getting pushed around -- there was not a molecule of extra space in that car, so with the slightest motion the entire crowd would pitch and sway.  A few passengers tried to diffuse the situation, but it only set the men off all the more; their epithets and fists hurtled through the stuffy car as it creaked slowly into the next station.

We shoehorned ourselves out through the crowd, and both the shopping cart guy and the man with his family stormed onto the platform.  As I passed by, I saw the wife gripping her husband by the shoulders, screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??  STOP IT RIGHT NOW!" in his face, even as he put his dukes up for a fight, jabbing into the air toward the shopping cart man, who was still shouting that he would murder him and seemed equally prepared to throw down, right there next to the tracks.  Other passengers stepped in and fought to pull them apart, and we were carried up the stairs and out of the station by the sea of bodies.  I didn't get to see how it ended.

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On an entirely different note, when I got home from The Ordeal of the Day, I found a package waiting for me from my sister-in-law:  a surprise "welcome to the Mommy club!" present. I ripped it open and immediately got all teary-eyed.  It's a necklace with Noelle's referral photo on one side (the close-up of her face) and a pretty floral design on the other.  It's modern and cool but also precious and sweet, and I love it.  If you're still looking for a Mother's Day gift for anyone in your life, this is a fantastic idea.  Go here and get one. 

And now, as I go through my routine, I can pretend Noelle is there with me (Noelle and I went to church on Sunday, then got pedicures with a friend!  Then we went to work yesterday and had leftover poppy seed chicken for dinner!  You, ah, get the idea).  And when things get out of hand on the subway, I can turn her face against me and put my hand over her and protect her from all the craziness in the world. 

Comments

[nonsoccermom]

Argh! I HATE being told to smile. HATE IT.

But I love those necklaces! So precious! I hope you get to bring the beautiful Miss Noelle home soon.

[Lia]

I was on the subway once for an all-out fistfight in a packed car. Somehow, by climbing on top of each other and standing on top of the backs of the seats, people in the car managed to get out of the way without anyone getting too hurt. An interesting breakage of one of the laws of physics.

Also, separately, I love to hear you talk about Noelle. The love comes through so clearly!

[Allison]

Hey, no judging here. Maggie went to the beach with us! Maggie slept on the nightstand! That necklace is beautiful. I might need to get one for myself.

[Paula]

The necklace is too perfect! My husband gave me a charm bracelet for Valentine's Day with all kinds of baby charms on it - I wear it all the time. He calls it my "non-pregnancy badge". It's fun though, because people ask about it and then I get to babble on for awhile about my little David! I figure we deserve a little babbling right now, ya know? :)

[Danielle]

Aww! That is such a perfect gift idea!! I love that you get to keep her next to your heart, before she can be with you in person.

[metalia]

Gah. The dudes who tell you to smile! HATE.

That necklace from your sister-in-law, however? Made me smile all on my own. :) It's perfect.