Preserving History

Thank you all so much for the anniversary well-wishes and the kind words on my previous, wedding-y post.  Love. 

So Holly asked whether I wear my wedding dress around the house on random occasions, and I am afraid the answer is no, even though I would love to, as I know it would make me feel awfully pretty (let's be honest, it's impossible not to feel pretty in your wedding gown).  However, sadly, the dress is Preserved.  (That's "pre-sehhhhved", all fancy-like). 

My dress sits in an acid-free box at the top of the guest room closet, wrapped in acid-free tissue paper, and a pair of (presumably acid-free) white cotton gloves is tucked into the acid-free tissue paper, in case I ever want to "handle" the dress, because apparently my bare human fingers would BURN RIGHT THROUGH the organza and silk should I DARE to gaze upon it without adequate safeguards.

This is what happens when you're a great big sucker like I am.  When I bought the dress, the boutique recommended that I have it Professionally Preserved after the wedding.  The place they referred me to for the Preservation does fabric restoration and cleaning for the, ah, Metropolitan Museum of Art.  So my little ol' wedding dress was right up their alley.  No corner dry cleaner for my preshus princess-wear -- nay.  Only the best for me!  (Again:  sucker).  

When I called the Preservation people to make the necessary arrangements, I thought the woman was going to come through the phone and smack me across the face with a white glove when I told her our wedding was already six months prior -- I guess you're supposed to take care of this sort of thing, like, right after the event.  Instead, I let that dingy-hemmed, slightly ripped gown ROT in my closet for all that time, as if I cared for it no more than a dishrag.  I had known it was going to be expensive, so I had put off the Preservation as long as I could without The Guilt overtaking me, and I thought six months seemed reasonable-ish.  They disagreed. 

With great haste, the Preservation people sent a Town Car (I am not kidding) the next day to pick up the dress, and promised to return it to me in its acid-free box several months later, fresh and clean as a daisy and carefully preserved such that I could NEVER TOUCH IT AGAIN.  (Well, I can touch it all I want -- but then I have to get it RE-PRESERVED.)

A couple of weeks after my dress was spirited away in its limousine, the Preservation woman called to give me an estimate on the Preservation.  Before she got to the bottom line, she told me that a couple of the seams on the front of the dress had separated (I believe someone MAY have, ever so daintily, stepped on the hem of the organza overlay as we were ever-so-gently slam-dancing to "Livin' On a Prayer", or maybe it was to House of Pain -- it was extremely elegant, whatever it was -- and a couple of the French seams on the bodice came apart).  She said that they could "stabilize" the dress, but those seams would not be able to be permanently repaired to their original condition.  I imagined a team of people standing over the dress with a defibrillator -- CLEAR! -- trying to STABILIZE it.  The world of fabric Preservation is HIGH OCTANE, people!

It was, as you might imagine, not inexpensive; but now, five years later, the amount is forgotten (or blocked out by trauma) and my dress is forever Preserved, which I'm sure helps us all sleep a little more soundly at night.  Obviously, if Noelle wants to wear it (ha ha, I know; every mother dreamily thinks "well, maybe she'll love it as much as I did" and then every daughter snorts and scoffs at the mere SUGGESTION of such a thing), she's welcome to it.  Although I'll have to warn her that it will be UNSTABLE -- CHAOS could ensue! 

Or maybe one day I'll get crazy and just start wearing it around the house whenever the mood strikes, Preservation be damned.   

Comments

[rachel]

My wedding dress was, um, NOT preserved. But it still looks exactly the same almost 10 years later...including the non-repaired tear in the lace along the bottom where my mom's heel caught it while we were doing some sort of jitterbug-esque dance move. Oh, how I love wedding dances.

I think your dress looks timeless...perfect for Noelle. :)

[Danielle-Lee]

Oh, those snooty preservation people would be HIGHLY disappointed in me. I've been married almost 8 years, and the beautious dress is still hanging in the guest room closet, in it's bag, and has been moved 4 times. And I totally think everyone has a rip at the hem from someone stepping on it!

[cathy]

I too am a total sucker and have a fabulously preh-served dress complete with white cotton gloves shoved under my old bed at my parents' place. Although I now feel a little cheated knowing that my dress could have been taken by town car instead of schlepped across town by me on the subway!

[nonsoccermom]

My wedding dress was preserved also. It sits in a place of honor in the top of my closet. :) I DO hope my daughter wants to wear it one day, but I have to admit laughing when my mom suggested I wear hers. But in my defense, she got married in November of 1975. "Excessive" doesn't even begin to describe the amount of lace on her dress.

[Lara]

Oh, I can't wait to read your previous post in all its weddingy glory! :)

I did not "preserve" my gown. And it's in my mom's closet right now, but my dream is to get it up here to Philly sometime and wear it on random occasions. Seriously. My friend Rosie has a friend who puts hers on every year on her anniversary, and she and her husband eat takeout at home while she's wearing it. I like this plan.

[Lara]

PS, is it weird for me to want to start wearing my dress on my anniversary...two years after my wedding?

[-R-]

My dress is not preserved because it seems like a waste of money considering the dress was less than $400 in the first place. I may just try eating takeout in my dress on my anniversary, as Lara recommended.

[Becky]

Lol, I got my dress preserved through WedClean. I arranged it all online, paid before the wedding (otherwise I knew I would never do it) and they sent me the box.

I mailed the dress via UPS (insured, of course) and they returned it in my own preservation box.

I'm really glad I did it because my older sister didn't and after only 2 years in her closet, dark stains showed up where people had spilled on her (probably clear liquids so we didn't notice at the time) and ruined the cloth.

My mother in law has suggested that she could make christening gowns out of my dress someday, which would be neat. Or, it would be cool just to let my kids try it on (if I have daughters), so I'm glad I went through with it.

Sorry, getting long.
:) Becky
http://www.stinkylemsky.typepad.com/

[fats]

I had my first dress preserved by the same company you used. I think it cost me 25% of the dress value or something ludicrous like that. Then it sat in my closet for so many years. When we finally moved to Seattle I tried to sell it and then ended up dropping it off at Good Will. Can you imagine?! Good Will!!!

I learned from that experience - I had the dress from my second wedding sold before I even wore it. Got half of what I paid for it - totally worth it. I figured if I multiplied the chances of my having a daughter times the chances of her actually wanting to wear my old dress, the odds just didn't make it worthwhile.

[Dianna]

Umm... you do realize that the dry cleaning people will do essentially the same thing? Only without the town car.

I had my dress cleaned and beautified and boxed. Then it sat in my MIL's closet until Chris's niece wanted to wear it at her wedding. Upon which occasion she trashed my dress and then refused to have it cleaned because she had no money. I eventually threw enough of a fit that I think my SIL paid for it to be cleaned... but I have no idea where the dress is now. I'm obviously still angry :)

[jonniker]

I've been holding off all day to remind everyone that I THREW MINE AWAY in a fit of PURGING. Yes. I'm the asshole who THREW AWAY a Vera Wang.

Commence stoning at any time.

[Karen]

I have a girlfriend who lives in New Zealand.... and I only say this because I have no idea whether this is a sweetly odd custom of that country or just her church.... but every now and then on Valentine's Day they throw a fancy dinner, and people drag out their wedding dresses, or assorted other formalwear and all get together for casseroles and great fun. She says it's quite lovely, some of the elderly women in the church can still wear and enjoy their gowns, and some even have the good humour to show up even if said garment is held closed with safety pins. Seems to me that having ongoing fun in your wedding dress might be a good metaphor for marriage.....

[Jen]

This is Jen...fellow Dillon mom, official blog lurker, stalker, whatever you want to call it. I've been reading your blog for some time now, and somehow it continues to slip my mind that this is a real live blog and commenting (a.k.a. letting you know I'm reading) would be a super polite thing to do.

Love, love your blog. I hope your 12 step program continues to roll along smoothly! Noelle is beautiful!!

Jen
Waiting for Trung in NT
trungmakesthree.blogspot.com

[Jakki]

I LOVE it that you was Jumpin' Around in your Pristine wedding dress!

[Nothing But Bonfires]

My mother RENTED her wedding dress. Can you imagine? RENTED! Like it was a car! Or a breast pump!

[Twangypearl]

Well this IS an eye-opener. I AM an innocent! I had no idea of the practice of which you speak. My dress is going off as I type! Pity, because I love the idea of putting it on again and often think it'd be funny to go and buy a bag of sugar in it, all deadpan. (Funny for me, at least, shopkeeper's reaction not guaranteed).