Another Way We Justify Squeezing into 1,000 Square Feet

Here's a perfect example of why we're probably better off living in an apartment for the rest of our lives: 

We've been in this place for more than two and a half years.  Every time there's a storm or even a stiff wind, the doors to the bedrooms and bathrooms rattle and tremble such that it sounds like there's a shootout in progress in our hallway.  (Evidently, the breeze that seeps in through our window-unit air conditioners is enough to accomplish this; it's not like we have everything thrown open to the elements year-round). 

It's not that big of a deal, I guess, but sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night with a start and wonder why there are fifty pygmy gorillas trying to tear down the doors.  In a similar vein, we are often jolted into consciousness in the wee hours of the morning by the sound of a thousand tea kettles shrieking into the darkness and a mad percussionist banging on a massive steel drum with a half-ton monkey wrench in our bedroom, only to realize it is, in fact, the radiators...radiating, or whatever it is they do.  Thanks, pre-war charm!

We had a vague intention of eventually doing something about the rattling doors (there really isn't anything we can do about the radiators, except live with them turned off, but since I'd prefer to keep my extremities, I will pass on that option), but when my parents were here last weekend, my dad fixed the problem in approximately ten seconds.  He unearthed some of those little round felt things from our junk drawer and stuck them into the door jamb (or frame?  or jam?  wait, "jamb" is the French word for leg, so that can't be right...oh, forget it), and now we have non-ratting doors. 

I suppose if we lived in a house we'd figure this sort of stuff out -- we're bright, competent people, and it's not like we've never fixed ANYthing in our home; we're just used to having a super in the building who fixes it for us, so we can spend our time doing other things.  The point is, we don't WANT to fix things unless absolutely necessary.  At least, I don't.  And unless we could get my parents to move in with us or hire a staff of twelve (groundskeepers, maintenance men, cleaning people, etc., and, of course, a full-time masseuse), in a house I'd presumably have to devote some time to household stuff at least every week. 

Of course, having a house wouldn't be all bad; there might be something to be said for more closet space, an extra bedroom, and a yard.  Then again, if we had a yard, we'd have to mow it, and I don't want to do that, either. 

Finally, I am going to put my fist through the TV soon if Good Morning America doesn't stop giving me tips on how to save money in "these tough economic times."  There's something endlessly irritating about Diane Sawyer trying to be all clucky and sympathetic with the Average American, like she knows just how it is to struggle.  Shut up, Diane.  You spend more on sweaters and false eyelashes than most people do on their mortgages every year.  I got your advice right here.   

Comments

[Allison]

If you move near us, I'll come and mow your lawn. Ours is pitifully small, as you know, and not worth my time.

[H]

If you have the right mower (self-propelled), mowing isn't so bad. I love that I can clearly see my progress as I do it. I'm a list maker and I think I get the same satisfaction from mowing as I do when I get to cross something off a list. I guess dusting is that way too, if you let it go long enough between dustings.

[-R-]

I love typing in the password to get to your blog. It makes me feel all important.

Anyway, I desperately wanted to get a house just so we could have a back porch where I could sit. I suppose you have Central Park for that though.

[jonniker]

HAHAHAHA, Diane Sawyer. So true. Even that supposed-to-be-funny clip from Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones about puppies being the solution to the economic crisis made me scream to them to just SHUT THE EFF UP. YOU MAKE MILLIONS. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.

[Danielle-lee]

Oooh, I love to mow. Although, I don't get to do it in my current home.
LOL-diane sawyer! i don't even watch GMA, so I guess I'm glad I am missing her annoying-ness!