Lawyerish

Sore Legs and Pageant Hair (plus GMILH Nos. 21-40)

How many of you watched the Miss America pageant on Saturday night?  (I'm imagining crickets chirping).  I did -- I mean, of course I did -- because, for my money, it doesn't get much better than a beauty pageant, preferably one hosted by Mario Lopez.  It's difficult to articulate what I love about these events, although ranking high among my reasons to watch is the ever-present possibility that someone will deliver a nonsensical answer to one of the judges' hard-driving questions, in the manner of Miss South Carolina in the Miss Teen USA competition in 2007. 

This time, no such luck, but there was a fairly arresting talent portion, in which Miss District of Columbia performed one of the saddest ballet -- well, "ballet" if we're being honest -- pieces ever to grace the American stage, and Miss Florida and Miss Michigan both did "contemporary jazz" choreography that primarily consisted of posing and looking jauntily over their shoulders while wearing perky little costumes that enhanced their legs and...assets. 

I absolutely LOVE when the contestants dance in the talent competition; it always calls to mind "Waiting for Guffman" -- come to think of it, perhaps I should find a way to contact Christopher Guest and suggest to him that we collaborate on a film that spoofs small  amateur dance companies, because that would be some quality viewing right there. 

Miss New York, who had seemed quite charming and intelligent throughout, disgraced our state with her wavering, off-key performance of some hideous song from some obscure musical (or maybe it was a well-known musical; my knowledge of contemporary Broadway tunes ends somewhere around "Phantom of the Opera").  Oh, DEAR, it was painful.  I felt badly for her, but I'm hopeful that she can pick up another hobby for the future, like handbells or the pan flute. 

Oh, and I almost wet myself with anticipation when Miss Florida first came out for her talent, because she brought with her a stool and a book, and for one thrilling moment I thought she was going to do a DRAMATIC READING.  I would PAY to see a pageant contestant do a dramatic reading.  But it turned out it was just a prop for her dance, which also involved her waving a frying pan around.  While looking jauntily over her shoulder. 

Also, the swimsuit competition now looks like some kind of Hardbodies Flex-Off, especially since they had the contestants pose dramatically in a semi-circle of mirrors before pony-walking to the front of the stage.  These girls are serious gym-goers, to a one.  Which itself isn't surprising, of course (having to prance around in a two-piece in front of millions of people would certainly get my ass to the gym); but most of them looked like they could crack your head in half with their thighs, and you could bounce quarters off their rears.  They're not willowy or model-like in the slightest. 

I like this development, in the sense that they appear to be promoting strength and fitness, rather than some unattainable ideal; you get the sense that these women happily toss back cheeseburgers on a regular basis.  I'm just saying if you meet one of them in a dark alley, keep in mind that they could take you down.

To cap off the weekend, Joe and I ran a half-marathon this morning, pretty much on a whim.  I can't remember the last time I ran more than four miles, and the last time I ran more than six was in November 2007; yet when I was poking around online last Wednesday and saw that the Manhattan half was this weekend, I decided that I felt like running it.  Joe agreed to join me, probably because he was concerned I would drop dead midway through and he wanted to assure that I would have a proper burial. 

The fact that it was 14 degrees when we left the house did not help matters, and I put the odds as 1 in 4 that I would peel off the course and race for home when we passed by our street (twice -- so tempting!).  Somehow, though, with our faces and extremities numbed by the cold and our noses running nonstop, we made it through the full 13.1 miles. 

I felt fantastic during the first loop, even on the enormous hill on the top end of the park (which is larger even than the other 8,000 humongous hills in that blasted park -- one of these days I'm going to go out there with some dynamite and level out that loop, because it's just too MUCH); was still feeling strong around mile 8 or so; and by mile 10 I was ready to lay down and perish.  It was a decidedly back-of-the-pack performance, but I finished, and I feel pretty good about that, even though I may not be able to lift myself off the couch for the rest of the day.  Or week.

To close, here are 20 more items from my list of things I'm happy to have done, plus a picture of Miles for no real reason:

1. Chatting with the tailors and touts in the market in Hoi An; the girl with the hat saying Joe was “very sexy, very opulent” and “like cowboy”
2. Motorbiking through Hue at night after our $10 blowout dinner (and before that, our $4 blowout lunch)
3. The breakfast buffet at the Sofitel Metropole in Hanoi
4. Seeing my nephew for the first time, just after he was born
5. Swimming in Ha Long Bay, then eating (yet another) blowout lunch on our private boat
6. Spotting humpback whales from our yacht in Cabo
7. Spending hours sweatily browsing for books in the non-air-conditioned Strand the summer before law school; reading “A Prayer for Owen Meany” on a bench in Washington Square Park
8. Taking class with Ethan Stiefel and Sasha Radetsky (from “Center Stage” – hee!) at ABT; standing next to Baryshnikov  and near Allegra Kent at the barre at Steps
9. Meeting Maggie for the first time at the Newark Airport (and knowing I was done for)
10. My number being called after a four-hour audition for Boston Ballet
11. Performing “Stars and Stripes” at NCSA
12. Reading a stack of books on the white sand beach of Parrot Cay; looking out over the marshlands from my soaking tub during the Javanese Lulur Bath at the spa
13. Looking out over Central Park from the relaxation room at the Mandarin Oriental
14. Listening to Jimmy Scott sing as the moon illuminated the Park that spread out below the wall of windows at Dizzy’s
15. Swimming in the rooftop pool of the Pan-Pacific Hotel in Bangkok after eight weeks of roughing it in Vietnam and Thailand
16. Lounging on silk pillows at a low candlelit table with a group of friends on a remote island in the Gulf of Thailand, sipping Singha beers and watching “Big Daddy” on the bar’s TV
17. Getting Thai massages at Wat Pho
18. Making friends with Tuan, a little boy standing on a corner in Saigon; he had a South Park backpack and spoke perfect English, and wanted us to take him to the museum
19. Crossing the stage at Avery Fisher Hall, shaking Al Gore’s hand, and officially graduating from Columbia Law School
20. Watching “Change of Heart” and “Blind Date” with my roommate at two in the morning when we should have been studying

 

Great Moments in Lawyerish History, Part I

Before I get started on my list of good things I've already done/experienced, I should note that on Monday, Joe and I ventured out to the movie theater for the first time in four years.  I know!  Our daring knows no bounds.  (I think I've used that line before.  Being in Life Limbo has caused all of my creativity and language skillz to drain out my ear.) 

We went to see "Revolutionary Road" and, aside from some brushes with doddering old couples who COULD NOT SETTLE ON WHERE TO SIT (honestly, it was like they needed a Yalta Conference to decide on a location; there was much fussing about proximity to the screen, leg room, aisle access, and so forth, and we thought for a time that they might simply leave the theater for want of an ideal seating situation), the outing was free of the annoying moviegoers who usually gravitate toward us.  No one brayed in our ears, repeated the dialogue to one another, kicked our seats or reclined into our laps.  Amazing.  Perhaps the world has been made anew.

The movie itself was excellent, I thought.  It's not a happy-go-lucky story by any means and it's a tough book to compete with, as the novel is so superbly written, but I thought they did very well with it.  Kate Winslet is so talented, really, and DiCaprio did a stand-up job.  And although it's a period piece in a lot of ways, I thought the central themes were very relevant to today.  Suffice it to say, we will not be moving to the suburbs and mindlessly pursuing dreams that aren't ours anytime soon. 

WIthout further ado, here's the first part of my pleasant memories list -- please share some of your own in the comments; I'd love to know both what you've done that was worth doing, and what you hope to do in the future (and these are in no particular order, by the way):

1. Walking down the aisle of Grace Church, seeing all of my family and friends gathered under those Gothic arches and my handsome groom waiting for me at the altar
2. Looking out into the cavernous theater past the footlights while dancing at the Atlanta Civic Center
3. Grinning at my friends through the downpour as we rode the swells in a longtail boat taxi between beaches on Ko Penang, Thailand
4. Squatting on a tiny plastic stool in the blazing heat of Hanoi, slurping pho and watching the local women laugh at Joe’s expressions
5. Riding a bicycle with no brakes through Hanoi, looking over my shoulder and seeing Joe weaving through traffic behind me
6. Jumping into the turquoise water off the coast of Belize in my first open water dive; seeing the teeming sea life as I descended along the Half Moon Caye wall
7. Tearing around the neighborhood on Big Wheels in Lake Zurich
8. Spending Fridays after school at the Coleman Library with Allison and loading up on candy at the store across the street
9. Watching hundreds of candlelit bark barges float out onto the lake on the last night of Girl Scout camp
10. Trying to be nonchalant about opening a Tiffany’s box in the middle of Central Park on a busy summer morning
11. Laughing at the red-bereted street comedian on the Piazza del Popolo in Siena
12. Sampling gelato in every city we visited in Italy
13. Walking through vineyards in Tuscany; sitting at the center of a perfect circle of cypress trees and watching the sun set behind the hills
14. Seeing the Pieta and feeling the presence of God in St. Peter’s Basilica
15. Happening upon Mass in St. Peter’s Square and seeing Pope John Paul II ride through the crowd on the Popemobile before beginning the service (awesome even for a non-Catholic like me)
16. Knowing how to get to our hotel in Venice without having been there before; marching through the Piazza San Marco under a brilliant blue sky with our luggage dragging behind
17. Drinking Red Stripe and watching the sun go down with B. and C. in Jamaica
18. Eating lunch on beach lounge chairs at the Ana Mandara in Nha Trang, Vietnam
19. Going out dancing all night with the dancers from Supergirls in Bangkok
20. Stopping for ramen during a whirlwind tour of Shinjuku before sprinting to catch the last train back to Narita

 

100 Things

Over the past coupleathree years, life lists have gotten pretty trendy, and I resisted posting one for fear of seeming sheep-like (although, who are we kidding?  Baaaa), but in the spirit of the inauguration, hope, etc., I decided to draw up a List of 100 Things I Want to Do Before I Kick It.  It makes me feel a bit more that, come what may, I've got lots more to accomplish in life.

I'm putting the whole list here, and if/when I cross things off (is there anything in life more satisfying than crossing stuff off a list?), I'll update it.  In the coming days, I will also post a list I've been compiling of 100+ Great Things I've Already Done, because I realized as I was working on the grand to-do list that I have had some pretty incredible moments even thus far in life.  Probably that list could go on to the point of being tiresome, but I'll find a stopping point and post it piecemeal.  It's a great reminder that even though things are in an awful period of stasis right now, life is still by and large awash in wonderful moments, great and small. 

(Great gosh-a'mighty, have I been taken over by Oprah or what?  SO EARNEST.  Oof.)

(Also, I am having serious formatting problems here, so if this is all wonky in font size or something, I apologize.)

1. Give birth to a child
2. Adopt a child
3. Tour the British Isles
4. Find a job I am passionate about 
5. Perform the lead role in a play
6. Hike the lava fields of the Big Island of Hawaii (4/09)
7. Live abroad for at least a few months
8. Publish a book
9. Sell a screenplay
10. Climb the Great Wall of China
11. Go on a spiritual retreat
12. Meet Dianna in person
13. Attend the Oxford Experience
14. Tour Scandinavia
15. Visit St. Basil’s Cathedral and the Maryinsky Theater
16. Go on a mission trip or volunteer vacation
17. Get to know at least one foreign city as well as I know New York
18. Spend a summer on Nantucket or in the Hamptons
19. Take a road trip around the U.S.
20. Wear a sari in India
21. Learn a tea ceremony in Japan
22. Stay in the Park Hyatt in Tokyo
23. Go on safari in Africa
24. Drive a convertible down the Pacific Coast Highway
25. Live in at least one more state
26. Teach a class in something I enjoy
27. Learn a martial art
28. Learn Indian dance
29. Run a marathon in another city
30. See the Northern Lights
31. Visit Angkor Wat
32. Land a speaking role in a TV show or film
33. Work in a job that requires international travel
34. Perform in a non-dancing role with ABT
35. See those big stone dudes on Easter Island
36. Vacation at a working ranch
37. Meet President Obama
38. Ride a bike in Amsterdam
39. Drink Champagne in Reims/Epernay
40. Stay in a chateau
41. Drink at a biergarten in Bavaria
42. Set foot on the Alps
43. Stay in a yurt in Mongolia
44. Climb a glacier in Alaska
45. Work with a charity (or start my own) to help orphans and impoverished children and families around the world
46. Visit Cuba
47. Become conversant in another language
48. Volunteer at an animal shelter
49. Surprise my parents with something big (surprised them with my pregnancy! 8/7/09)
50. Host a family reunion
51. See the Galapagos Islands
52. Attend the Mass Games in North Korea
53. Visit the hill tribes in Sapa, Vietnam
54. Attend a gala
55. Walk among the foothills of the Himalayas
56. Stay in an Oberoi hotel in India
57. See the Terra Cotta Warriors in China
58. Walk along the Seine with Joe
59. Live in an apartment with a terrace or garden, and/or live in a house with a turret, a window seat and/or a rocking chair porch
60. Celebrate Tet in Vietnam
61. Take my child(ren) to NYCB's The Nutcracker
62. Ride a zipline
63. Hold a baby monkey or panda
64. Write thank you notes to Mrs. Wildes and Coach Parsons (1/25/09)
65. Sing karaoke at a bar in Asia
66. Attend (or throw) a black tie New Year’s Eve party
67. Spend an afternoon taking photos in Chinatown
68. Visit Adel, Iowa
69. Spend Christmas abroad
70. Make a cookbook of family recipes
71. Walk the red carpet at an event or premier
72. Eat at a diner or café with friends after a lively night on the town, like in the old law school days
73. Attend the Laura Ingalls Wilder pageant in Walnut Grove, Minnesota
74. Eat ebelskiver in Solvang, California
75. Tour the cemeteries of Savannah
76. Take the kid(s) to Yellowstone
77. Attend an Indian wedding
78. Give enough money to a charity to merit one of those giant checks
79. Stay in an Aman resort
80. Ride in a helicopter (4/09 - Kauai)
81. Drink a bottle of Cristal or top-of-the-line Krug
82. Have artistic portraits taken
83. Visit the Grand Canyon
84. Walk through the temples of Kyoto
85. Soak in an onsen
86. Swim in a waterfall in Hawaii (4/09 - Kauai; technically, it was man-made, but still a waterfall)
87. Soak in the Blue Lagoon
88. Eat poutine in Montreal
89. Be a guest on a talk show
90. Adopt a shelter dog
91. Eat shoofly pie in Amish country
92. Spend a weekend in Philadelphia
93. Go to Coney Island (6/09 - Brooklyn Half-Marathon) and the New York Aquarium
94. Make a great dress-up trunk
95. Put together a book of all of Allison’s and my letters and diary entries
96. Stay on a remote island (Seychelles, Maldives, Bali)
97. Publish an article or essay (6/09 in Meant to Be)
98. Renew our vows
99. Horseback ride down a beach
100. Purchase a valuable piece of art

 

Crowded Society

This week needs to take its business elsewhere. 

Last night I got almost no sleep, chiefly because the dog was being a complete pain in the buttocks.  He started out next to me in bed, as usual, but for mysterious reasons he kept getting up and moving around, so I stuck him out into the hall with the hope that he would go find a nice spot on the couch or in his dog bed or crate and, you know, LEAVE ME ALONE. 

Instead, every time I managed to drift off, there would be a scritch scritch...scritchscritchSCRITCH at the bedroom door.  I'd try to ignore it, but then there would come the high-pitched eeeeeennnnh?  eeeeeennnh?  and the SNUFFLE SNUFFLE SNUFFLE of his little nose poking under the door, so I had little choice but to open the door and scoop him up again and take him back into bed.  We proceeded to repeat this approximately 8,000 times. 

Sometime around 4:30 or 5, he finally settled down and I fell into a deep sleep, during which time I had an exceedingly odd dream about visiting people I've never met in San Francisco.  And then...

HOOOOOONK.  HOOOOONK.  HONKHONKHONKHONKHONK! 

Some JERKWAD got behind one of the oil trucks that was on our block, fueling up one of the buildings, and evidently he couldn't simply WAIT for the truck to finish its fueling and move on.  And he expressed his displeasure by laying on the horn for about fifteen minutes straight.  AT FIVE FORTY-FIVE IN THE MORNING.

Again:  who ARE these people that do not seem to notice that they are on a RESIDENTIAL BLOCK and it is BEFORE DAWN and people may well be SLEEPING at that time?  I may need to rig some kind of egg launcher on my window sill so that I can deliver swift justice whenever anyone gets the idea to disturb my sleep in such an obstreperous manner. 

As if that weren't enough, as I was walking from the subway to the office -- and observing proper sidewalk etiquette, striding purposefully on the right hand side, not meandering from side to side or stopping abruptly -- all of a sudden this enormous man came up behind me and, as he passed me, he SHOVED ME really hard to the side. 

I mean, if I had been closer to the building on my right, I would have SLAMMED into the wall face-first.  He also shouted something obscene at me, which I did not really hear because I was listening to my iPod and also was sort of in shock at the fact that I was BARRELING SIDEWAYS AGAINST MY WILL at the time. 

Living in the city, you get used to a certain amount of jostling, bumping and sometimes a mild level of pushing, but this was something else entirely.  It was a premeditated, violent, aggravated SHOVE.  It was an assault, I tell you!  And a battery!  Yet all I could come up with in my startled state was a tinny, "Jeeeeeez!" 

Of course, I also assumed the guy was insane, and as I mentioned he was quite large, so I didn't want to get all up in his grill or anything.  But still.  This was one of the times in my life I've wished I had a black belt in something, so I could have surprised him by sweeping his legs out from underneath him and then running at high speed before he could get up. 

So.  An egg launcher and a black belt.  I'm going to work on that.

I Really Do Love the Word "Buttmunch"

What kind of buttmunch clears the sidewalk of snow/ice at SEVEN O'CLOCK on a SUNDAY MORNING?  A buttmunch who lives on our block, apparently.  I thought it was before dawn when the scrrrrrrrp, scrrrrrrrrp, SCRRRRRRRRP started, and I was ready to shove our air conditioner out of the window in the hope of silencing this egregious noise.  Then I peered at my clock and saw it was JUST after seven, which did not improve my mood at all but I figured it made a homicide slightly less justifiable.  If it had been 6:59, the guy would have been toast.

Following that brilliant start to the morning, I got to spend the entire day dealing with computer crap.  While we were away over Christmas, a pernicious malware program (I had never heard that term before, but now I know all I need to know about it -- MALWARE, NO ES BUENO) got onto our hard drive and basically effed it all the way to hell. 

Since we are fairly incompetent when it comes to any kind of technical...anything (and in any event we couldn't even get the computer to TURN ON), we called the Geek Squad and shelled out a not-insignificant amount for them to fix it.  They managed to remove the malware (which was a "Trojan horse" of some kind, and as far as I am concerned whoever created it should be eaten alive by rabid hedgehogs), but it seems that it still did some irreversible damage to Windows, so I was left to try to piece our lives back together.  As in, restore our computer to its factory settings and reinstall everything (ON MY OWN, thankyouverymuch).

Needless to say, I would rather have spent my Sunday rolling around naked in the freshly fallen snow and being tickled by an army of evil clowns. 

In other news, we went to see "Hedda Gabler" yesterday, and it failed to impress.  I had high hopes, since I think Mary-Louise Parker is the bees' knees, but the whole thing was a minor disaster.  I'm not sure if the adaptation/translation fell short (I'm not familiar enough with the work to tell what all they changed) or if the piece itself simply isn't relevant today; but it was difficult to be moved by any of the pivotal moments, many of which seemed abrupt and inconsistent.

MLP didn't seem to have found her character yet, and she and some of the other actors flubbed lines on multiple occasions.  At one point, I am fairly certain that she lost her place entirely, as she and that creepy dude from "Fargo" (not Steve Buscemi, but the other guy) had a fairly nonsensical conversation in which it appeared he was trying to jog her memory.  Granted, the play is in previews right now, but don't they have months of rehearsals to get off-book?  Come on. 

Another beef I had was that some of the actors used very rounded tones and formalized speech inflections to reflect the period of the play (late 1800s, Sweden).  Others had plain old middle American accents, circa 2009.  And one guy sounded as though he'd just swaggered off the Texas prairie.  I didn't expect them all to affect Swedish accents, of course; but if one character sounds like a late 19th-century aristocrat and another sounds like they just finished the breakfast service at a HoJo's in Des Moines, it's a tad distracting for the audience. 

I think I have sufficiently griped about my weekend.  Now I'm off to salvage the last few hours of it with some dinner, some wine and the Golden Globes. 

Beyond Peckish

That was very fun -- you all are some excellent gift-givers and you evidently surround yourselves with similarly creative and thoughtful people!  And I am totally stealing some of your ideas for future gifty occasions.

Regarding the 30-Day Shred, I should note that after several sessions with Jillian, I have observed one pronounced side effect:  extreme and unrelenting hunger.  Every day this week, I have spent most of my waking hours in a state of constant famished-ness.  I eat my two South Beach Diet Bars and have my Diet Mountain Dew for breakfast when I get into work, and about 30 minutes later, I am looking around in a mild panic for something to shove into my mouth. 

I take my lunch into the office every day, and I haven't made it past 10:30am before digging into some part of it.  (It's sort of a grazy lunch -- crackers, apple, V8, applesauce, Nutrigrain bar, Mini Babybel, etc -- whose most salient quality is the ability to be thrown into my bag in seconds, requiring no additional preparation).  The whole thing is usually gone before 3, at which time I am forced to hit the vending machines or lose consciousness.  Today, I added another item to my lunch selections, which got me to 5pm, when I grabbed a roll of Life Savers to make it until quittin' time; but when I got home I could have ripped the door off the fridge and eaten it.

It's not like my body is unaccustomed to exercise; I mean, running makes you hungry (and training for the marathon makes you DERANGED with hunger), and going to the gym maybe ticks up your appetite a hair (somehow an hour of phoning it in on the elliptical and then doing some half-hearted assisted pull-ups doesn't do that much), but this feels like my body has turned into a furnace.  A furnace that needs copious amounts of Cheez-Its to burn. 

I guess in theory I'm building muscles, which burn more calories and she claims that the workout maximizes calorie and fat burn by working multiple muscle groups at once, but I haven't been doing THAT much for THAT long that's different than usual.  It seems somewhat disproportionate.

All this is to say that if you get the DVD, you might want to load up on extra groceries as well.  You have been warned.

Have a great weekend, everyone!  I, for one, am very glad this week is over.  The first week back after a break should, by law, be less than five days long.  We need to ease back in, people.  Is it time for another vacation yet? 

Prezzies!

Lest we all launch right into the new year without so much as a backward glance at the recent holiday season, I wanted to ask you all about your presents.  Because presents are fun!  I love hearing about presents almost as much as receiving them (hence my still-observed tradition of exchanging detailed lists with Allison of everything we got for Christmas).  Tell me:  what was the best thing you got and/or gave this Christmas or Chanukah (or whatever)? 

The best thing I gave -- hands down -- was the Keurig coffee maker, for Joe.  Boy howdy, is that bad boy getting a lot of use.  I'm not much of a coffee drinker -- I'm not anti-coffee, but I prefer a cold, fizzy beverage as my caffeine delivery system -- so it was silly for him to make whole pots for himself on the weekend, and then a couple of months ago he started having a cup of instant coffee (BLARGH!) before heading to the gym in the morning.  That was when I knew the madness had to end. 

I'd always thought the concept of the single-cup brewer was good, but  wondered if it might be a hassle to buy the pod thingies or if we really NEEDED a new machine since our old coffee/espresso/cappuccino maker worked just fine; but when it came down to my husband choking back a vile mug of Chock Full O'Nuts on a daily basis, the Keurig seemed necessary.  Turns out, our sad little grocery store even started carrying K-Cups, plus they're easily ordered on Amazon, and, well, the whole thing is just one great big success.

Since I find my husband particularly difficult to buy for (he always wants a lot of books, which is great and easy, but you can't give someone ONLY books for Christmas/their birthday), I am exceedingly smug about this gift.  Last year, I was smug BEFORE Christmas, thinking that my gift certificates for a consultation with a private running coach and a training session at a famous boxing gym were sooooo clever, but they, ahem, went unused.  Lesson learned!

Also popular this year from me to him:  a fleece vest from LL Bean (what's with guys and vests as outerwear?  call me crazy, but if it's 30 degrees out and my arms are exposed I AM STILL COLD) and tickets to a play (Mary-Louise Parker in "Hedda Gabler" this weekend!).  Also the usual assortment of DVDs and books and a photo book of the year's travels and visitors. 

I got lots of good, useful and/or wearable things, and also the usual assortment of DVDs and books, which is always a pleasure.  Also THREE new purses (two classic vintage bags from Etsy and one snazzy patent leather-trimmed Kenneth Cole tote -- I finally was able to toss out my el cheapo street-bought bag that I've had since 2002, hoo to the rah).  And a suuuuuper cool print of a poster for the 1939 World's Fair that is currently being framed and will soon hang in our kitchen.

Among the DVDs was the 30-Day Shred (which I ASKED for, ergo it was safe for Joe to get for me -- woe to the man who gives his wife an exercise DVD unbidden), so I have now joined the many others in blogland who are devotees of Jillian Michaels and her tough love approach. 

I wouldn't want to do that as my only exercise, since as with anything it would get tedious, but it's good for a short, intense workout.  I have been doing two levels at a time to get 40 minutes out of each session, as 20 minutes seems not quite enough.  It's surprisingly old school, with jumping jacks and mountain climbers and squat thrusts -- reminds me a bit of PE class or (Jonna will appreciate this) Astronaut Calisthenics at Space Camp.  But in a good way. 

So that was a brief look back at our Christmas.  Please share the best gifts of your holiday so that we can all get some ideas for the next major gift-exchanging occasion -- I, for one, am tapped out.

Partying the Old Dude Way

Allison, David and Maggie left a few hours ago, and the apartment seems extremely empty already.  We had a very fun time welcoming 2009 and celebrating the Old Dudes' 40th birthdays with them! 

They arrived Monday night, and on Tuesday morning we braved the crowds to check out some of the holiday highlights of Midtown.  Below are Allison and Maggie checking out the windows of Saks after we plowed through about fifty million tourists at Rockefeller Center.  The windows were cute but frankly a bit un-Christmasy -- they were wintry, I suppose, as they were based on a children's book about why every snowflake is unique (blah, blah, life lesson about being yourself, blah), but there was not a lot of holiday paraphernalia involved.  Also, there were weird plastic cavemen in some of the scenes.  I give it a C for holiday relevance.  But it was enjoyable nonetheless:

We also checked out Lord & Taylor's windows -- much more Christmasy and traditional, with the Boston Pops Christmas album piped in for added festiveness.  Thumbs up.  Then we rode the Bryant Park carousel, which was frankly a little terrifying.  It went a lot faster than I expected and played very loud Edith Piaf music.  I was mildly concerned that if it went on too long, I might experience some carousel-induced motion sickness.  Fortunately, we all survived:

Afterward, we had to replenish our bodies' deficit of butter, pasta and cheese, so we loaded up on three different varieties of mac'n'cheese at Pinch and Smac.  Mmmm.  Slab bacon. 

Later that afternoon, Birgit and Olivia came over for a play date.  Since Maggie's nap had been delayed and then abbreviated by our possibly poor planning skillz, Mags was not as social as she could have been, although Olivia was just as charming and spritely as she could possibly be (the girl has some kind of future in the performing arts, we're all certain).  There was some reluctance to share and some stony silence on Maggie's part, but by the end of the visit she started to warm up a bit:

Or...maybe not. 

The next morning, Kathy and Adam came for a social call, and since Maggie was well rested and adequately fed, she was much more receptive to her visitor.  Toward the end, as both of their lunch- and nap-times approached, conditions began to deteriorate, however, and at least once there was an incident of physical assault involving a blow to the head.  But for the most part they got along well:

(That last one is Adam doing a face known as "The Eyes."  Hee!  He also imitates my smile in a way that is beyond hilarious, but somehow I did not capture it with my camera.  Grr.)

That evening, Allison and I made a four-stage dinner of hors d'ouvres for New Year's Eve/The Old Dudes' Bash.  We had a veggie platter with homemade ranch dip, pumpernickel bites with avocado-pea hummus, baked brie en croute (OMG OMG OMG, SO GOOD), gougeres (Joe asked, "Why does it smell like horse manure in here?" while they were cooking, thanks to the fragrant powers of Gruyere, but they tasted really good), pigs in a blanket and buffalo chicken meatballs, followed by Carvel cake.  We were all about to BUST by the end of the night, and there may have been some dozing off on the couch before the ball finally dropped.  I think we were all in bed by 12:10. 

We did have special party outfits for the occasion, though:

Finally, this morning, we went out into the face-shattering cold to visit Cathy, Kevin and the twins for some fun in their well-stocked playroom.  The kids mostly eyed each other suspiciously (I guess at age three they're still mostly into "parallel play", which as far as I can tell is just another name for "eyeing each other suspiciously") until Cathy busted out the pop-up fire truck, which they all piled into and, uh, fought fires.  Everyone also did well with snack time and juice, except for a small spill, which prompted Owen to yell, "Oh, NO!  The apple juice spilled on my SOCK!"  You probably had to be there, but it was ridiculously cute. 

Then conditions deteriorated again when Maggie felt slighted out of a turn driving the fire truck and began to wail dramatically that she couldn't SEEEEEEE out of the truck (mostly because she was sitting down as the boys kept moving the truck around; also, she was wearing sunglasses).  She then declared that she wanted to go bye-bye.  Somehow, I managed to forget to get out my camera, so I missed the adorable group hug that the kiddos gave each other before we left. 

So that was our visit in a nutshell.  It was the best way I can think of to wrap up 2008 and ring in 2009, which I just know is going to be a good year.