Details, Details

I apologize in advance for YET ANOTHER pregnancy-related post, but you know -- kind of a big deal and all (see also: not much else going on except work, geh), and I realized the other day that I could already barely remember what the early weeks were like (we're at Week 15, y'all -- less than six months to go!) so I figured I'd better write about it, lest this crucial information be LOST FOREVER. 

Like most women who start trying to get pregnant, from the moment I tossed out my Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo, I started obsessively analyzing every twinge and burble and pang that my body had to offer.  I also spent a tremendous amount of time Googling "early pregnancy symptoms" and "lower abdomen pain hot cramp 9dpo" and the like, which takes you right into the heart of the madness that is the TTC world of the Internet (back away slowly, slooooowly).  I even started keeping a log during the two-week wait so I could at least compare what happened from month to month and see if I could discern a pattern. 

As it turned out, I wasn't entirely crazy, because the month It Happened, I did indeed have oddly specific and unique symptoms -- a swollen lymph node under my arm (evidently this is related to the immune system backing the heck off so as not to reject the embryo), sharp pangs in my lady area (implantation!), crampiness after I peed or exercised, hot flashes, a smattering of pimples across the top of my back, bloating, mood swings, intense hunger, heightened senses (aside from the bionic sense of smell, everything I ate tasted AMAZING and, I kid you not, my eyesight became sharper), dreams about pregnancy and babies (and EVERY dream I have had, and there have been MANY, has been about a baby girl, by the way -- hmmm) and, um, a lot of gas (sexy!). 

Once we knew that MVM was, in fact, In the House, the crampiness and bloating and gassiness escalated, and the carnival of new symptoms began.  Mostly it was the fatigue -- oh, MAN, was I tired, almost to the point of hallucination -- which ramped up around Week 6 and bludgeoned me until about Week 12; it's so much better now, although still at any given time if given the opportunity I could drop off into an hour-long nap.  (I'm great at parties these days.)  There was also the Yuck, which as I've mentioned wasn't full-on nausea for the most part (and, OH, am I grateful for that), but it was like at all times I'd just gotten out of an un-air-conditioned cab ride where the driver was weaving all over the place and starting and stopping abruptly and wearing pounds of Axe Body Spray.  Unsettled, is the best way to describe it. 

And by the way, let us remember that I had to SHOWER AT THE GYM every day during those early weeks, thanks to our dang retiling project, and BLARGH, the mere thought of the toothpaste-like scent of the gym's shampoo and body wash gives me The Yuck, even now.  Although I have to admit, the (forced) exercise seemed to help lessen the less pleasant symptoms, including The Yuck.  So, yeah, the exercise relieved The Yuck and the showering at the gym brought it back. 

I never had especially severe mood swings or increased teariness, and still don't.  If anything, I'm on a more even keel now than I was before.  For the most part, I'm not a wildly moody person, but after I went off the pill?  DUDE.  I became a BASKETCASE.  It was unreal.  I felt out of control and unbearably sad and it was the weirdest thing.  Intellectually, I knew it was probably my hormones readjusting after 12 years of being...suppressed or artificially supplemented or...whatever, but at the same time, I couldn't control it in the slightest.  I mean, we were also mourning the HORROR of the failed adoption, so it's not like I didn't have a perfectly valid reason to be a disaster, but this was really extreme and I felt kind of unglued and kind of terrified that I might always be that way.  It turns out lots of people have this reaction, but no one had ever warned me it might happen so I was unprepared for the violence of it. 

But!  Happy ending!  Now I'm a level-headed pregnant lady (although I will admit to having the occasional bout of snappishness, especially in the afternoon when people want me to get shit done and what I really want is to be NAPPING, PEOPLE). 

What else?  OH, yeah.  Pregnancy brain.  Definitely a real thing.  I would forget my butt if it were not attached to my body.  In fact, right this moment I'm trying to remember what other thrilling pregnancy details I wanted to share with you, and I'm drawing a complete blank.  (Not that you haven't had PLENTY of this by now, jeez). 

OH, oh, oh.  The other thing was that, even though my symptoms were pretty mild, if they decreased on any given day, I flew into an instant PANIC because of course I thought that meant something awful had happened.  For a few hours, I'd be frantic and filled with dread, and then The Yuck would return, and I'd mentally celebrate as I swigged ginger ale and munched on Saltines.  Hooray for The Yuck! 

That pretty much brings us up to date on the gory details.  

Another thing I should mention is that not only is Joe positively ECSTATIC about this baby, but he's been a fantastic support for me on this wild ride -- I mean, I fully expect that any partner of a pregnant woman should bend over backwards for her, but he exceeds even my already demanding standards.  He's been taking care of way more than his usual share of household stuff while I've been tired or out of it; he's dashed out countless times, day and night, to get me ginger ale or Gatorade; he makes sure I'm staying fully hydrated and well-rested; he (of course) has come to every doctor's appointment and participated with great enthusiasm, asking questions and getting all giddy at the ultrasounds; he massages my stinky feet; he's read everything in sight about pregnancy and newborns; he's gone shopping for maternity clothes with me; and he has stayed calm and upbeat even when I was JUST SURE that something was wrong and all was woe. 

It's funny, I always thought that pregnancy would be sort of isolating, that it would make me feel resentful that the guy doesn't have to go through ANY of this and I have to SUFFER THROUGH IT ALL; but it hasn't been like that at all.  Quite the opposite.  It feels like we're in this together, that this is our little collaboration, our project; we just have different roles and responsibilities.  We're a team, like we've always been and like we promised to be in our wedding vows -- now more so than ever, and that's only going to increase as we go forward and as we get to experience parenthood.  I mean, we're creating a new person together, one who's never existed before, and that's...man.  That's something. 

I'm so damned lucky. 

Comments

[Dianna]

It's a sweet post and all "yay Joe!" but I've been snickering through all of it since you said the baby was "In The House" *lmao!!!*

[beyond]

yay for great husbands!
are people offering you their subway seat yet?

[-R-]

Not the kill the mood of your happy post, but if you are like me, the gassiness only gets worse. Just a warning. Ah, I'm so glad I shared that publicly on the internet.

PS It's so fantastic that you are so supportive of each other.

[Tara]

Yay Joe! What a great guy you've got. It makes a hard pregnancy that much easier (and an easy pregnancy simply wonderful).

[daysgoby]

I'm so happy for the both (all!) of you!

[jonniker]

I said this at the time, but it's true: pregnancy was a truly, uhhh, MAGICAL TIME in my marriage (no, really, for real, even though I just used the lamest term ever). It really was -- the anticipation and partnership and so! many! things! that only the two of you are REALLY in for, it all feels a bit like the two of you against the world. But in a good way.

I should add that the newborn stage -- until the horror began, that is -- was ALSO magical. Then, ah, a brief hiatus for The Horror, and recently, as our girl becomes more and more enjoyable and easy and fun, it's back again in a big way. So don't let anyone tell you that kids ruin a marriage, and that it'll never be the SAAAAAAAME. I've found that unless we're under extreme newborn-induced sleepless duress, it's only gotten better.

[Heather M.]

HaHaHa! Just way until the baby arrives...you really won't be able to contain yourself from going on & on & on....I find it quite cute! Carry on!

Heather M.

[kathy]

You're very very lucky!

[Loth]

Pregnancy brain! Oh, I remember that (just). I lost my car keys once. I eventually found them in the fridge.

[Julie]

The "in the house" comment was hilarious. You should definitely write your own version of "What to Expect When You Are Expecting". It would be on the NY Times Best Seller list in a flash.

Enjoying so much of this ride with you.

[Swistle]

MMMMmmmmm, pregnancy talk! Love!

[Debbie in the UK]

I love you talking about your pregnancy and find it fascinating. Also how supportive your Joe is of you. Lucky girl!!

[Sarah]

Ah, pregnancy brain. It's no joke. And it only gets worse once the kiddo is here and you're chronically sleep-deprived. And if you nurse too? Fuhgeddaboudit. You lose your fact retention ability with every drop of milk. I haven't had short term memory recall since 2006. Though I do remember looking all day for a sandwich that was on the roof of my car.

[fats]

I'm catching up on your blog and I just have to say I totally get the warm fuzzies when I read about how your embracing this pregnancy. I'm so happy for you guys!!!

[Danielle-Lee]

Yay for such a supportive and excited husband. Growing a wee little human is so empowering and a miracle. I am so happy for you.

[Jurgen Nation]

Oh, my. I just got off the pill and I did not know this about the mood swings, etc. Damn. It goes away, right? Because, while I didn't know this and couldn't have been imagining it, I have been a bit of a sad panda of late.

Frowns.

But, BIG SMILES. You're pregnant! Congratulations!! Oh, I have SO MUCH to catch up on. I am so, so happy for you.