Ill-Suited

I went for a checkup last week (at 16 1/2 weeks), and I got the dreaded "you've gained too much weight" scolding.  Sigh.

Admittedly, my weight has gone up, um, substantially since the beginning, and we're not even halfway through yet, but since it seems to be concentrated in the belly and chestal area and everything else appears to me to be mostly the same (arms, legs, face) AND I started at a low weight for my height, I wasn't terribly concerned.  Plus, in the first trimester, when I gained more than the typical amount (most of the guidelines say you should remain the same or gain maybe ONE POUND in that first 12 weeks; my body laughed at those rules and put on nine pounds right off the bat), my doctor assured me that it was mostly water retention and increasing fluid, blood volume, etc.  Now, though, she's more concerned -- well, not concerned, exactly, and she was super nice about it, but she wants me to be attentive to it and keep my gain down in the next month so as not to put myself at risk for gestational diabetes and so forth.

In my defense, by the way, I was weighed in my clothes AND shoes around 3 in the afternoon after a lunch that included, in part, pasta salad and about a liter of water.  When I got on the scale at home the next morning before breakfast and in the altogether, I was FIVE POUNDS LIGHTER.  Which still puts me ahead of the power curve, but isn't quite as dire. 

Mind you, I'm calm about it, but the point is well taken.  I've been doing a lot less running than I was pre-bebe (regular half-marathons to...irregular 3-mile jogs/walks), which seems to make a big difference, since I haven't changed my diet all that much.  So we're eating lots of big salads and fruits and less pasta and all that sort of thing, and I'm trying to squeeze in some more exercise around my crazy work demands of the moment.  It's fine.  It was just kind of...startling, at first.  

Also startling is the apparent fact that the maternity clothing industry does not believe that pregnant women should have to wear business attire at any time.  I need suits for my job, not for every day, but for client meetings and court appearances, and I had to canvass the city for weeks to find anything that was remotely appropriate for such things.  I finally located exactly two -- TWO -- suits at A Pea in the Pod, and even though they're somewhat ill-fitting (the jackets are a bit comicallly large, despite my RECORD BREAKING weight gain), I had no choice but to get them both. 

And then I nearly DROPPED DEAD when I saw how much they cost -- these are clothes, let's remember, that one can only wear for a period of about six months.  Six months!  It's OUTRAGEOUS.  Yes, suits in general are pricey, but generally you can wear them for YEARS and you don't have to buy more than one at once.  Good lord, people.  This is deeply distressing to someone who is as cheap as I am about apparel.

Naturally, I also find this to be evidence of a vast conspiracy to force pregnant women out of the workplace.  My suspicion is that Old Navy pays these companies off to limit business-wear production so they can sell more yoga pants.  (Although, let's not kid ourselves, when I'm eight-plus months along and my belly is the size of an exercise ball, I'm totally wearing yoga pants to the office.  And I DARE anyone at work to say a WORD about it.)

Finally, we watched a little documentary the other night called "Life After Tomorrow", and since I know that lots of you all were die-hard "Annie" fans like I was, I have to recommend it to you.  It's about the girls who were in the Broadway and the touring show and how the experience affected their lives -- really interesting and well done, and appealling to the "Annie" nostalgia in all of us.  There are also some quite riveting interviews with this random old dude who collects "Annie" memorabilia and wrote an "Annie" newsletter and lives in a house bedecked with "Annie" figurines, posters and original costumes.  They didn't say, but I am fairly certain he lives alone.  Anyway, you should rent it. 

Comments

[Tessa]

My husband runs the Phoenix Film Festival, and we had "Life After Tomorrow" there a couple of years ago. It was beloved there, and the filmmakers were such nice people. Thought you should know you're supporting some good eggs!

[jjm]

Do you know about Iasbella Oliver? Way back when I was gonna grow a kidlet, they were my clothing fallback plan. Might check 'em out.

http://www.isabellaoliver.com/maternity-clothes/work-maternity-wear/D/30000/P/1:200:2000

[Tara]

I HATE the dreaded weight gain talk. The stupid techs at my OB office didn't weigh me at my paperwork appointment, so the docs and nurses have been going off of my at-home prepregnancy weight, which is a significant EIGHT POUNDS difference from their scale. So they think I've gained 28 pounds (you'd think it was 50) and I KNOW I've gained 20. Luckily I have one doctor in my corner who tells me I'm doing great since I lost a pound in the last 2 months instead of gaining any, despite being at the tail end of my pregnancy (33 weeks).

Oh, and if you still are looking for suits/jackets, try motherhood maternity (www.motherhood.com). They only have a few options, but aren't quite so pricey and might tide you over. Good luck!

[Swistle]

I am trying to breathe, breathe, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, because "women being told they're gaining too much weight in pregnancy" is one of my SUPER HOT BUTTONS. In my opinion, except for EXTREME CASES, weight gain during pregnancy is SET. I don't think some women gain 1 pound in the first trimester because they're eating well and keeping up with their exercise, and other women gain 10 pounds because they're shoveling in the doughnuts and slacking off---I think the body makes its own adjustments without consulting us, and also that you're right about the various factors that affected your weight that day.

[Swistle]

And---because now I cannot stop---I don't think a woman should ever, Ever, EVER be praised for gaining less during pregnancy. I think women have ENOUGH problems overcoming The Societal Imperative To Never Gain Weight, without someone CONFIRMING that we're not supposed to gain weight during pregnancy. (We ARE!!! We ARE supposed to!!! It is IMPORTANT to!!!)

[Jurgen Nation]

Okay, so, quick question BECAUSE I CANNOT LET THE PILL THING DIE: Did you gain weight after getting off the pill? Feel like you gained weight? Pants tighter?

I AM GOING INSANE.

And I'm with Swistle. Unless you're suddenly in some wildly inappropriate weight range when pregnant, I don't think it's right to have this discussion with a pregnant woman. Because...seriously?! Between hormones and body changes and it being 3pm after a day of nourishment? Dr. needs to STAND THE HELL DOWN.

All caps fest. Sorry. Pulling a Kanye.

[Lawyerish]

Thanks for the clothing suggestions and the "down with weight gain scoldings!" support, you guys! It really does seem like an odd time to have to be all neurotic about your body. Not that I AM being neurotic now; I mean, for the most part, I feel like my body will do what it needs to do to support the baby and I'm going to roll with it.

JN - I actually don't think I gained weight after going off the pill. I'm trying to recall, and it's all kind of hazy but I may have had some bloating/water stuff going on for a few weeks, and then everything regulated (except my CRAZY MOOD SWINGS) body-wise. If anything, I think I had less bloatiness around my period than I had while on the pill.

[kathy]

Unless you've gained 50 pounds already, I cannot imagine there being a problem! You are a very thin person to start with!

[beyond]

judging from the last belly photo you posted, your doctor should not be scolding you about your weight.
target has maternity wear-to-work clothing. most of it is not suitable for court at all, but you might be able to mix and match with what you got from pea in the pod.

[Maura]

I'm a NYC lawyer as well, and I was so appalled by the prices of maternity suits that I just skipped the whole thing and found I was able to get by quite well with a black belly band (best thing ever), a couple of maternity tops suitable for wearing with a suit, a completely indispensable black wrap dress that I got for about $100 at Belly Dance Maternity in the West Village, and my usual skirts/slacks/blazers. I may have looked a bit less-than-polished by the end, but I saved a lot of money. I gained a good 40 pounds, but I'm tall and slimmish by nature and put it mostly in my belly. Sounds like you may be headed in the same direction!

[Allison]

I was an Assistant DA when I was pregnant and had to wear a suit pretty much every day! I was shocked at both the selection and prices--total conspiracy for sure.

Needless to say...as I entered the latter stages of twin pregnancy, I wore more casual attire. Even to court. I was pretty much daring a judge to say something! (They never did, by the way.)

[Carla Hinkle]

I lost my original comment but I think it is TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE for anyone to criticize pregnancy weight gain, especially in someone like you who is quite obviously within the realm of normal and reasonable. I have gained 10+ lbs in the 1st trimester 2 out of 3 pregnancies, and in the first 2 ended up exactly the same in the end (35 lbs) (3 time not finished yet!).

All to say that I agree that each woman is basically pre-ordained to gain a certain amount of weight and short of Betty Draper-style cottage cheese and smoking your way to low weight gain, there is little you can/should do to mess with it, and the medical professional should just Step Off.

(Sorry for the rant. But getting a weight gain lecture at 16 weeks seems asinine to me. As does the fact that you feel you have to eat more salads and less pasta at this stage in your life. If there is any time you should be enjoying the pasta, guilt-free, it is NOW.)

[amanda]

Agree with all above posters about the weight gain/pregnancy thing. Excuse me but WTF? Then again, you (me too) are in NYC and there is IMO a certain brand of weight/body image neurosis (among multiple, multiple neuroses that seem to exist here where millions of us are packed on a teeny island) here so maybe that factored in to your doctor's comments? Who knows. You're tall and really slim and in your "bump" pics even your bump looks slim! And no back fat, etc. So it seems like you're doing all the right things for you, as it should be!

[Leah]

I can't believe someone talked to you about your weight! I seriously, literally, can not believe it. You're lying, right? RIGHT? Because WTF?

[fats]

I think it's a Dr. K thing - she used to yell at me every visit about gaining too much weight (although, I must say - I DID gain a HUGE amount with H). And I totally agree with Swistle - your body is going to do what it's going to do. With H I gained a ton right off the bat (and kept on going). With A, I was one of those "1 pound in the first trimester" women, but I started to catch up towards the end.

Just enjoy your pregnancy and the fact that you have a legitimate excuse to gain weight!