Complimentary

I was going to write a whole post about what's been keeping me awake at night lately (in short: panicked thoughts about baby gear -- the concept of motherhood doesn't faze me in the slightest anymore, but what gets me all bound up is whether we will have the right STUFF -- and my own unbelievably loud breathing, which has become so labored and congested at night that forcing air in and out of my body approaches the decibel level of a freight train), but...well, I'm too exhausted.  I've also been working all weekend; evidently the concept of "easing back in" has been abandoned in favor of hours upon hours of eye-bleeding screen time.  No rest for the weary. 

However, I did see a post the other day by The New Girl, which I am now going to shamelessly copy, because I thought the topic was a fun one and I am hoping some audience participation will enliven me over the next few days as I continue with the work-slogging.  (Hint, hint.) 

So the question is, on what are you most often complimented? 

For me, the first answer that springs to mind -- although it's seldom the case anymore -- is my hair.  For most of my life, people have exclaimed over my hair color, and I always thought it rather special and unique to have this reddish-blonde (or "strawberry blonde", if you must) follicular combo.  Hairdressers have also frequently commented that it's very soft and well-maintained, as with a newly groomed dog's sleek coat.  Sometimes I do still get compliments on it, but since my haggard old age of 34 and the rigors of gestating seem to have dulled the sheen and paled the color, the level of enthusiasm has waned substantially of late.  O, MY SQUANDERED BEAUTY, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME? 

This seems like an odd thing, but people also remark on my height a lot.  "You're so nice and tall!", they'll say (or, upon meeting me, "Gosh, I didn't realize you'd be so TALL!"); and, come to think of it, it's probably one of the things I like most about my physical self, and also one of the things I take most for granted.  I tend to forget that most people are not 5'11" or that my height is in any way out of the ordinary.  (This could be because I come from a very tall gene pool; when the extended clan, with all my 6'4"-and-up cousins gets together, my just-barely-six-feet-tall husband looks downright tiny.)  I always wanted to reach 6 feet when I was a kid, but I'm pretty happy where I ended up. 

Interestingly, most people do not ask me if I modeled or played basketball, probably because on sight it is perfectly obvious that I'm not at all suited to either one.  Although it IS nice to be called things like "willowy" and "statuesque" and -- my favorite of all, and I liked it so much I had to marry the guy who first said it -- "coltish." 

There's also my posture.  After more than 20 years of ballet training, I can't help but have good posture, at least when I'm walking around -- when I'm sitting at my desk, I am often hunched and droopy and have to remind myself that having my face an inch from the keyboard isn't really the way to go.

In terms of non-physical things, I probably have been complimented the most on my writing, my efficiency, and my advice-giving. 

I'm no Hemingway, but stringing together sentences has always come fairly easily to me (all that time spent tearing through every book in the local library had to have SOME effect) and many teachers, family members and colleagues have commented on that in a favorable way.  And while I do lots of things in my job, if you boil it down I basically write for a living (in a much different way than perhaps I once thought I would, but still), so I've had lots of time and opportunity to hone my ability to say things clearly, concisely and persuasively (even though I STANK at legal writing when I was a fledgling law student -- I mean, I was HORRIBLE at it, which was very distressing because I'd always been told I had some kind of innate writing ability, like what do you MEAN?  I'm a GOOD writer, damn you!). 

(Note: these alleged writing skills are not all that evident here, the site of my meandering brain dumps, so you'll have to take my word for it that I am pretty good at writing ELSEwhere.)

Others have also observed that I'm pretty quick at getting things done.  One could, I suppose, argue that this is due to a certain slapdash carelessness, but I actually seem to manage to accomplish efficiency AND accuracy...MOST of the time, anyhow.  I don't like to labor endlessly over discrete tasks; I like to get them DONE and move on to the NEXT thing. 

Finally, I have been told on more than one occasion that I give good advice.  Which is sort of funny, because whenever someone presents a problem or dilemma to me, my initial reaction is to fly into a panic over whether they are seeking my advice, or just venting and don't want to hear my stupid psychobabble.  And then I tend to obsess over whether the commentary and advice I give might be misconstrued or may somehow give offense.  And THEN I tend to conclude that whatever I said was incredibly obvious and stupid, and that the person is sitting there thinking I am the lamest jerk in the world.  Which maybe makes it a good thing that I didn't pursue psychology as a career, after all. 

Your turn! 

Comments

[Flicka]

I get complimented on being tall a lot too. It always makes me feel a little strange because it's not something I can help; I mean, I didn't earn it by being good!

And I think I'm in the same place with writing that you are. :)

[Tara]

What a great idea for a post! My biggest compliments of late have come from the way I have been able to express myself in writing. Also people compliment the color I'm wearing a lot - like, "That color really brings out your eyes" or "You really shine in that color" or "Blondes can't usually pull of wearing that color of brown." Funny, because I don't look at that when I shop, I just buy clothes and colors I like. :)

I think I'll steal your idea and write a whole post about myself. :)

[willikat]

Great idea for a post!

The thing I get complimented on most is my sense of style. I love putting outfits together and I was a beauty editor for a few years, so I have a few makeup tricks up my vintage sleeve. :)

Other people have commented on my eyes (they're huge and blue-green) and eyelashes (they're long, but blonde, so I use LOADS of makeup.)

As far as nonphysical things... that I'm a good writer, a fast learner, and the best audience. I love to hear people tell stories and I'll laugh at nearly anyone's jokes, so I am fun to be around, I guess.

What a great idea for a post! I might have to steal this, too.

And yes, you do have a very beautiful, very rare hair color. I also did not realize you were that tall. Coltish is a great term, I might have had to marry that man too. ;)

[willikat]

I meant, loads of MASCARA. Duh.

[Twangypearl]

Wait a minute, I am red-blond and tall too (5'10"). Funny eh?

It is not really the Irish way to compliment - some misplaced thing about vanity - and come to think of it, we don't really take them too well either. I learned how to be more gracious and less mortified when I was living abroad in Italy and the USA. All you have to do is say: Thank you, apparently. Easy!

People have been kind enough to compliment my drawing, and tell me I have a talent for it. (In reality, it's all practice - would you expect to pick up a guitar and just play without ever practising?)
But it's nice to hear it anyway.

[H]

Oh my gosh, that last paragraph of yours is me!

Before I went gray, I was complimented on my auburn hair. Now that I've gone gray, I'm complimented on my hair cut and that my hair is "pretty" shade of white/gray. Frankly, I didn't know there is a pretty shade of white/gray, but I'll take it. Also, people say I'm neat and organized.

[notylia]

I'm pretty terrified of baby gear. Not that I'm in the market right now, but I was buying my cousin a shower present last night when I realized I didn't even know what half the stuff on her registry was, much less what to do with it. I hope when I get to that point there will be some master stuff list that I can just download and get on with it.

As for compliments, I usually hear about my eyes which don't match. I like my wonky eye-color and usually appreciate the comments. Not so much from the slightly creepy butcher where I grocery shop. He mentions them every time I go in a kind of weird inappropriate way that compels me to babble incoherently about buying the meat for my HUSBAND.

[Leah]

5'11"? I had no idea you were THAT tall. Awesome.

I get complimented on my hair a lot too, which is cool because I do basically nothing to it. It's also somehow way easier for me to take a compliment on something that comes naturally rather than something I've really had to work on. Win-win!

[Ris]

I'd rather be short or tall than average height (not that there's anything wrong with it), and somehow I got short. I love seeing a tall woman who has good posture and holds herself well. The thing I'm most complimented on is my eyelashes/eyes. I have some insane eyelashes and people are always asking me what brand mascara I use or if they're real. not only are they real (heh), they're so long I have to cut them so they don't stick in my eyebrows. That's...pretty much my only talent. Great idea for a post!

[Jen K]

I have black hair and am 4'11". It's a different world from down here, really. I would love just another inch or two or three...just so I could reach the bottom shelf of my kitchen cabinets without pulling a muscle, you know?

I get complimented on being organized and efficient. The truth is, I'm just impatient to get things accomplished. I also get compliments on my very geeky technical abilities. While this used to bother me, it's landed me a fabulous job with nothing but self-taught, sitting in front of computers for hours type of learning. Score.

[the new girl]

I forgot to say my cheekbones. Lots of people notice cheekbones, if you can believe that.

I liked your post. And I also didn't know you were that tall.

[Loth]

When I was still practising, many, many clients told me "You don't talk like a lawyer!". That's a compliment, right?