What Can I Do For You?

People really need to stop saying to me, "Oh, you must be due any day now!"  This is the equivalent of the spectators who stand on the marathon course at mile 19 and yell, "You're almost there!" when you still have SEVEN #@*&%$ miles to GO. 

Yes, I'm about 85% of the way through this, but I still have MORE THAN A MONTH left at most (oh, please, please, please let it be less) and I'm learning with each passing day that this last 15% is designed to make you BEG for the pain of labor and delivery because it seems so infinitely preferable to waddling around with your lower back in flames and your belly entering a room five minutes before you do.

I made the mistake of standing in our kitchen barefoot for over an hour yesterday (hey, another pregnancy cliche accomplished!) while making red velvet whoopie pies and Ree's potatoes au gratin for our Valentine's Day feast (which also included brown sugar chicken from the slow cooker and a side of spinach).  This followed two days of working out AND walking all over creation for errands, church, friend-visiting, baby shopping (we have DIAPERS in the house now!  Diapers, people!  Do you know what this MEANS?), and my body was not pleased.  My feet felt like someone had taken sledgehammers to them and my back wrote me a strongly worded letter about wearing supportive shoes AT ALL TIMES. 

It seems that the addition of some forty pounds to my frame is beginning to cause some structural breakdown.  This belly is seriously dense and I just feel HEAVY on my feet.  I still don't feel all THAT big, but maybe my eyes and brain are being kind to me.  In any event, the "any day now" comments -- of which I have now received MANY (usually when I am wearing my winter coat, which is admittedly rather tent-like, but still) -- need to stop.

(By the way, the potatoes and the whoopie pies were totally worth the aching feet and back.  TOTALLY.)

I just looked back at this list, and we've already checked off everything on it!  And still there is much time left!  We've done the birthing class, the hospital tour, the doula hiring, the pediatrician selection, and the photo session; we've been to see the play and had two three-day weekends; and both "The Bachelor" and the Olympics are in full swing (speaking of which: quel quandary as to which to watch tonight; I am thinking Bachelor, because if I TiVo it, I may not get to see it for another two weeks until the Olympics are over, and anyway there is clearly more tension and adrenaline involved in the fantasy dates than in some snowy, potentially dangerous competition for a medal, right?). 

The baby's clothes, blankets, towels and bibs have all been washed and put away.  We've also bought our stroller and carseat and virtually every other essential piece of baby support equipment one can think of that will fit into a Manhattan apartment (I'm thinking I'll do a baby gear post at some point, although since we haven't road-tested any of it with an actual baby, perhaps that should wait? or perhaps it's really boring and no one actually cares?), and all of said equipment has been meticulously set up, organized and, in many cases, labeled for ease of use/finding. 

I do have one piece of art that I need to get framed and hang in the nursery (after which I will do a post with pictures of the baby's room, since some of y'all have asked -- I happen to think it's ever so pretty), and next week I have an appointment at the Upper Breast Side (hee) to assess and purchase nursing supplies.  And starting a week from tomorrow, I will be seeing my doctor every week (to my chagrin, these appointments will now require me to take my pants off; it's been so enjoyable for the past six or so months to visit the OB/GYN and not have to disrobe). 

But other than that, we are READY.  We have been pretty darn ready to house and attend to a baby for, oh, about three years now, but as of today we are, like, REALLY REALLY FLASHING NEON SIGN WITH WHOOPING ALARM READY. 

So basically, in the remaining weeks, left with no more necessities to purchase and nothing to obsessively organize or label, I am going to end up cleaning our baseboards with a toothbrush (after which someone will have to come help me up from the floor, possibly with the assistance of a winch and a tractor), washing vertical surfaces, arranging our bookshelves according to the Dewey decimal system and perhaps knocking on our neighbors' doors to see if they need anything dusted/polished/buffed/scrubbed/baked/organized/labeled. 

I think what I need are some homework assignments.  If there's something you want me to write about, some questions you want answered, perhaps an existential or practical dilemma you need solved or a project I can complete and document, preferably without causing myself any bodily injury (note: I can injure myself just getting off the couch these days), do let me know via comment or email. 

Let's make this time pass together, shall we, so I can get to "any day now" a little quicker.

Comments

[Beth Fish]

Forget the baseboards, what you need to do is clean the surfaces of the shelves in your upper cabinets. No, it doesn't need to be done either, but you can do it without bending over.

[beyond]

just in case you feel like buying one more thing: i heard from a brand new mama that the 'breast friend' (for breast feeding) was the best thing she ever bought in her whole entire life.
(no more belly shots?)

[Marie Green]

Uggg, those last few weeks of pregnancy were hard for me too- the waiting, waiting, waiting drove me crazy and had me frantically filling my days will mundane tasks. Also, towards the very end, I would go to bed with every hope in my body that I would wake to contractions... only to continue to wake in the MORNING with no contractions and that stupid HUGE belly greeting me ONCE AGAIN.

Hope these last few weeks fly by for you!

[Becky]

I am due tomorrow (HOLY CRAP WHERE DID TIME GO?), and have been getting those comments too. Two people separately asked me to not have my baby in the elevator with them. Um...ok?? Probably that won't be a problem since we are only going up 2 flights.
Have you found shoes that are easy to get on and off that are also supportive? Because I can barely get the slip on ones I have on my feet, and they are NOT supportive and my feet ache by noon, much less the end of the day.
I'm excited for this to be over, that's for sure. James can come any day now.

[Ris]

Hmm read a book, organize your sock drawer, redo your current home filing system? Other than that I say eat out at every opportunity, get a manicure/pedicure/massage/haircut. Do everything you can possibly think of that won't be fun once you have a wee baby in tow. Other than that, good luck with the waiting!

[PomJob]

Do you want a non-baby-related topic? I'm thinking about law school... can you argue for and against being a lawyer?

[livlaugheat]

Another non-baby topic suggestion...running. I'm training for my first ever half marathon this Oct and would love day of advice (what to expect, do I carry my cell phone, am I going to have to elbow people to get to the water table, etc.)

[Swistle]

I'm SO EXCITED! Every post you post now MIGHT BE THAT THE BABY IS BORN!

[Anne]

Good luck with your last few weeks!!

If you can figure out to bottle that organizing energy spree and sell it you could put the baby through college. I need a nap just READING about all that organizing, and I'm the type of insomniac who sometimes dusts the ceiling fans at two in the morning because I am INSANE. And not pregnant. I fear for the city of Chicago when I do manage to get pregnant and go on my own amazing cleaning spree of AWESOME.

[Debbie]

How about a bio post for new readers? Hi, by the way. :-)

[Amy K]

We loved our Uppababy Vista - good choice! My daughter hated facing away from Mom and Dad for the first eight months or so, and it was great having a seat that could go either direction. The storage basket is so much bigger and better than the ones in comparable strollers.

[nonsoccermom]

Oh, the last month SUCKS. I can't lie, it totally does. And us (otherwise) slim gals get SO MANY of those obnoxious comments. YES I KNOW THE BELLY IS HUGE. BACK OFF OR I'LL BOP YOU WITH IT. Ahem. Anyway, I am so excited for you guys! Whee!!

[chanin]

Hi there and congratulations on the pregnancy!!! Years ago we exchanged e-mail about adopting from Vietnam and I've checked your blog from time to time ever since. I'm sooooooo happy for you! I had a baby last summer. The last month of my pregnancy was brutal and really sucked but I don't remember anything specific (probably sleep deprivation inhibiting my brain function). It's a cliche but the amazing birth is what I remember clearly.
My best advice is do not plan to get anything accomplished on your maternity leave. Nothing. I barely got the thank you cards sent out.
All the best, Chanin

[-R-]

You should do a product post, but you should wait until after the baby is born and you've used them.

The last weeks are hard. I am so excited for you to meet the little baby!

[Alyce]

I'd love a product post. Maybe one now and one later with you giving the details on how it's stacked up.

I'm wondering about your food cravings and habits and things. I maybe recall you forgetting to eat and vending machine-ing it a lot previously.

Did you guys ever look at or decide on potential preschools? [former NYC private school admissions girl here and just wondering your thoughts - aside from the obvious, "it's crazy! interviews for 2 yr olds?!"]

[Twangypearl]

It's SO exciting! Just a few more weeks!
Many many good wishes..

[Heather M.]

A few weeks? Really? OMG! It's so close! The art-work is pretty....looks so freeing! Never been pg, so I can't comment on the last month, although friends tell me it isn't the greatest. Maybe you could do a post on cute baby stores in NY that have on-line shopping...I would love to check out some cute new places to 'shop'! Or your favorite baby ETSY shops.

[Becky]

It's so exciting to read about all your preparations! One homework assignment would be to share your brown sugar chicken recipe (when I clicked on the link it took me to the potatoes recipe). I am really trying to find good crock pot recipes this year. Sure, it's a pretty boring "resolution" but at least it's (hopefully) attainable!

[Lawyerish]

Oooh, these are great suggestions for writing topics and projects! I will definitely be using them.

Becky (4:40pm): OMG, it's your DUE DATE! That is super exciting. The best slip-on shoes I've found are FitFlop wool clogs. I wear them around the house and out and about. They're supportive and have enough room to account for swelling.

Becky (10:01): Here's the correct link -- sorry about that! This chicken was good, but it didn't blow me away, although Joe liked it a lot.

http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2008/08/crockpot-brown-sugar-chicken-recipe.html

[Lawyerish]

Oh, and Chanin, I have been wondering what happened with your VN adoption. Congratulations on your baby! We shall have to compare notes.

[Debbie in the UK]

Have you given up work yet and do you intend to return to paid employment? If so, who is going to look after the baby??

[Jen]

Diapers in the house!! I remember that being one of the most exciting things to me before we brought our girl home. They are so tiny and stackable :)

You look fantastic, and I can't wait to see photos of the nursery! I'll bet it's gorgeous.

[RockyCat]

How's the dog? Just wondering .....

[Penny]

The worst I used to get was, "you're STILL here?!?" by various coworkers every blooming day that last month (or two).

Time actually slows down in your last month. You enter a time warp where, on the one hand, every second now lasts 60 non-pregnant seconds and the only thing that speeds up time is if you start thinking deeply about the ways in which your life will change after another 30 (non-pregnant) days.