Twenty-Two Months

In two days, Felicity will be twenty-two months old -- a mere two months shy of turning two.  (That's a lot of twos!)  In my head, it's almost as if she already is two, given her height, her verbosity, and her love of the word "no."  

She has wanted to practice sharing a lot lately; she'll hand me one of her baby dolls and say, "Share with Mommy!"  Then I play with Polka Dot Baby while Felicity hovers nearby.  Then I'll say, "Would you like Polka Dot Baby back?" and she'll say, "You waited over there!" (she sometimes calls herself "I" but usually it's still "you" or "Bish-i-tee" (she's added a third syllable to her name!)) to give me a chance to compliment her on how well she did.  

Meanwhile, she is doing very well with the concept of taking turns.  At the playground, she'll say, "Stand back! Let him take a turn" when another kid ambles up to the ramp she's about to descend or the ladder she wants to clamber up.  And again, she has to do a quick recap after the turn-taking has passed: "You let him take a turn. Waited right over here!"  She likes to make her toys take turns as well.  Only one little piggy at a time in the dump truck, and so forth.

Lately I've been using a positive reinforcement mechanism that my mom has always championed, which is catching her at being good -- not that she is ever "bad", but it is nice to compliment her rather than only to remark on her behavior if it needs correction.  The upshot of this practice is that now she'll be playing quietly with her Bristle Blocks and she'll say to herself, "I like the way you're building, sweetie."  

Her favorite things to do at home are to build with blocks, draw on her chalk table, and -- most of all -- play with her babies and stuffed animals.  She feeds her anthropomorphic friends snacks, changes their diapers, gets them dressed and undressed, shows them books, washes them with baby wipes, helps them share with each other, wraps them and unwraps them a million times in our big cashmere throw (the child has taste), puts them into and takes them out of her crib.  They are very busy dolls.  

In a new environment where there's a selection of toys, she gravitates immediately to animal figurines, identifying them all in succession, but then when the heavens part and it is revealed that a baby doll is on the premises, she's pretty much done. All other toys are dead to her.  She'll bring the baby along to engage in other activities, but she and her baby shall not be parted.  Come to think of it, the first thing she does when I go get her in the morning is ask for one of her friends: "Want big black bear?  Want Ballerina Shoes Baby?  Want Big Bunny?"  I hand them to her and she gives them snuggles and then takes the lot of them with her to the changing table ("Everybody go change your diaper!")  

I'm not sure if it's a nurturing thing or the beginnings of imaginative play or if it's more of a security/transitional object, but boy does she love animals and dolls.  

She still adores exploring outdoors; one of the quickest ways to get her amped up to go outside is to ask if she wants to go look for squirrels.  "GO SEE THE SQUIRREL RUNNIN' UP THE TREE!" is the usual response.  She pores over every square inch of the park looking for high quality sticks, rocks, and pine cones, bringing them to me like so much treasure.  

She and Joe went to the Turtle Pond recently, and when they got there, Felicity looked around and said, "I don't see any turtles!"  A man was fishing nearby, and he explained that the turtles were sleeping in the mud but they would come out again in the springtime.  So now all you have to do is mention a turtle to her, and she tells you "Turtles sleepin' in the mud!" and, upon further questioning, she informs you that the turtles will wake up "in the spring."  

She still narrates everything that she does, pretty much (just moments ago, she called out, "Prancing around the house!" as she did just that.  She randomly quotes songs and books, completely out of the blue ("And down she went!"); she'll start talking about Belinda and Melissa and Jennifer and I'm all, you have no friends by those names, and then I realize that she's referring to the dolls in the book "The Best-Loved Doll."  She's also starting to have some funny turns of phrase, saying "I guess" and "I think" with some frequently.  At the playground, she said to herself, "I guess I'll go across the bridge."  Pointing out an animal in a book, "I think that's a zebra."  And the other day when I gleefully said that I was going to tickle her, she said in a mournful voice, "Just want a hug instead of a tickle."  

When I'm falling asleep at night, I imagine that Felicity is curled up next to me, that I can smell her hair and kiss her cheek as I drift off.  She's never been an especially cuddly baby and we didn't co-sleep, so I've only slept next to her maybe two times, for a total of less than an hour, when she wasn't feeling well and was unusually clingy. And yet, every night I dream about holding her when I'm afloat in the sea of half-sleep.  

Maybe it's metaphorical -- that I am always holding her in my arms, wherever I am and whatever I'm doing -- or maybe it's wishful thinking -- wondering if one day she'll submit to lying in stillness with her long-suffering mother.  Or maybe it's about the unfairly fast passage of time, the sense that every day she grows noticeably bigger and busier, and soon -- far too soon -- I won't be lifting her out of her crib, her arms full of stuffed animals.  Soon, she won't yell, "It's Mommy!" when I walk in the door and do a little dance, her face lit up with a smile.  Soon, she'll be all little girl and no baby; her toddler belly will flatten out and her limbs will be gangly.  Soon, she'll go off to school and make her own friends and carry a lunchbox.

Sometimes I still get that feeling that I had when she was a newborn: that I want to whisk her away to a remote island or a cave somewhere and live out our life together, without the rest of the world barging in. I think about how I want to stop time and keep today's Felicity here with me.  And yet, the promise of seeing the her of tomorrow is so thrilling that it's irresistable.  So I let go, of course, like we all do. I don't even try to hold today in its place.  

 

Comments

[Ali V]

What a beautifully written post. Felicity is, as always, adorable. I love hearing about her speech development - so fascinating how it all starts coming together.

[Ellie Coggins]

Long time reader delurking to say I love this post. You have written so beautifully about your daughter and the universal feeling of both wanting to stop time and see what the future holds for the little ones we love. Thanks for sharing.

[Frenchie Flip]

Beautiful! I'm tearing up in my office. I completely agree with living on a remote island so I can spend the day smelling my daughter's hair.

I love reading your milestone updates, they give me so much to look forward to as my Mia catches up.

[terri codlin]

Stop it!I have tears rolling down my cheeks. and just look at how you have grown ; all mommy and all ; I love the image of you lying in bed with her even though she doesn't do that right now. She will and you will have the most wonderful discussions!

[nonsoccermom]

She's beautiful, and sounds like such a sweetie. What a wonderful age.

I noticed just today that my daughter (who turned 4 just after Christmas) has lost that baby roundness and is all gangly little girl now. Wah.

[Ris]

Aww she's turning into such a proper kid! I love the idea of positive enforcement--I remember something similar from my Montessori days. Sounds like you guys sure are raising her up right.

[jive turkey]

Crying over here. Oh boy.

[Melospiza]

I love how kids praise themselves. My son would do this too, tell himself "I'm doing a good! job!" while he was moving a broom around or some other kind of "helping." Personally, I think this should become more common among the adult set. I should be able to walk past my coworkers' offices and hear them saying, "You're doing a good job on this report, Bill" and "Way to make a slew of photocopies, Bev."

[Becky]

I typically lurk through my google reader but had to click through and say that I just loved this post. "bish-i-tee" is so lucky to have these memories to look back on and feel the love in your writing voice. Thanks for sharing!

[Jessica]

I asked my mom one time, before she passed away, what her favorite year of my life was. She said that every year was her favorite because it brought new memories and new developments. Every year she would wish that I would stay that age and then she would like the next year even better.

Now with my own daughter, I want her to stay 2 years old forever, but I know each year will be different and incomparable with the previous. But for now, like you, I try to hold onto everything that she is and stop time. Thanks for this post and reminding me to stop time once in a while.

[jaquelinpearson]

Beautiful, tender posts of a Mother reveling in the preciousness of her little girl. You are so right, time will pass and all this will give way to another little girl who is more independent, more herself and less and less the adorable little one she is today. It's sweet that you try not to hold on to what is passing while remembering all the inescapable pleasures of each and every moment. Life is such a heart breaker! Love Jaquelin

[agirlandaboy]

These photos are my favorite. Especially the first one with you in it; such a fetching pair you'd make on your own deserted island.

Happy 22 months, F!

[Marcy]

"So I let go, of course, like we all do. I don't even try to hold today in its place."

So beautifully put!

[April Clark Trent]

I found that when my own baby girl started really talking, that I said all kinds of phrases that I didn't even realize. It wasn't until she started speaking, and had picked up on them, and using them, that I was even aware of how often I said them. I can't tell you how many sideways glances I got at the grocery store when my two year would say "So anyways" or "Or anyhow". BTW My baby was never a cuddler, but recently at 7 she loves to start her day with sneeking into our room and cuddling up for a few minutes after the alarm has gone off. There is nothing better than starting my day with my heart on my chest. And it is the age old dilemma of watching them grow, yet never truly wanting them to grow older, but still amazed and astounded at their growth when it seems likes you're not looking!

[Leveta Ray]

I have worked with children for many years and this will make my 40th year and I wanted to tell you and I am sure you already know this but Felicity is very bright.Her verbal and reasoning skills are far beyond many not quite 2 year olds I know. I love the idea of recognizing the behavior as that is what we do with the children I work with in headstart. I love reading here of your updates with your beautiful girl. You and her daddy are wonderful parents.
Leveta--wife to Carl, mom to Chad19 (bio)Kaitrin 12 and Sam 16 both adopted from India through Dillon International.

[Mauigirl]

What a beautiful post! And the pictures are wonderful too.

[Life of a Doctor's Wife]

ACK. You write so beautifully. And your daughter is so very lovely - the photos, the way you describe her. This is the kind of post that makes me think maybe I can someday have a kid.

[Val]

This is beautifully written. And that third photo down should be poster-size in your home. It's just lovely.